a rain storm

Honor Yourself

there’s been a lot on my heart lately.
stuff i haven’t been able to control,
friends who are hurting.
morons who won’t shut up.
people who aren’t thinking things thru.
and it’s made my heart heavy.
over and over again, i have gone to my yard for peace.
it always comes thru.
but the sadness……it’s been staying for awhile now.

so when the storm rolled thru yesterday,
i shoulda realized that’s why i was drawn to my back porch.
to just be with the energy of the earth.
to bring my sadness to the storm.

it rolled in with gusto
and poured and poured and poured.
i couldn’t sit there any more.
i HAD to be in it.

of course, it wasn’t really smart as there was still thunder around,
but i couldn’t help it.

i had a bucket filling with water under my gutter.
i went right over.
it’s like being in a waterfall.
(yeah, i need to check my gutter)
i took the bucket and poured it in my little pond where i had
just earlier discovered tadpoles.
back and forth from gutter to pond,
i filled the bucket
and poured it out again,
talking to the tadpoles and the rain.

the practical reason, if anyone asked, would be to fill my pond.
but my pond didn’t need it.
i did.

and then i sat on the steps and watched the storm leave.

the sun was right behind it.
one of those storms where the last rain drops are in the sunshine.

and i watched the bright sun hit the wet leaves.
and the glimmer that was born!
my entire soul just filled up with it.
and without even realizing where it was coming from,
i just kept hearing ‘YES!’
my whole being felt like the word yes.

in the back of my head, i knew there was some poem by
e.e. cummings with yes in it.

after taking it all in,
feeling the healing of the storm waters
and the water diamonds among the leaves
i went in and looked up the poem.

here’s a piece of it -

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

i thought it was so cool how the poem had filled me without
my even really knowing what the poem said.
i definitely went beyond understanding it -
i lived it.

and once again, the earth soothed me.