2016 -- Change Is Good

My Fiction Addiction

This has taking me awhile to post, so I apologize to anyone who follows my blog regularly or if I left anyone hanging. Truth is, I’m in and out of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, all the time so I see many of you on those platforms.

But to be quite frank, social media has taken a major backburner for me, in particular, blogging, as you may well be aware of. I’m sure I sound like a broken record because I’ve said it before, and I don’t mean it as an excuse, but I just can’t justify the amount of time it takes to maintain a worthwhile blog, or get around to visit other blogs.

Many of you do, and I respect that immensely. To those of you I don’t get to correspond with regularly, I do miss you, and miss the way blogging was back in the old days. But I think it was part of a wheel that was always in motion, and at that time when we were all involved in blogfests and hops and sharing our journeys, it was only a single spoke that had its spotlight, and now its passed.

For me, anyway. My life has always been that way though. What works for me for awhile, doesn’t work forever. Everything is always changing and evolving and moving with the times, and sometimes that means letting things go.

If you read my newsletter you know I’ve decided to leave the blogging world. I will leave this blog up because I believe it has a valuable archive resource for someone who may be starting out their journey in writing, or if someone is simply interested in my own. It’s chronicled so much of my path.

And all of you who’ve stopped by here regularly over the past six years are such a vital part of that path. I truly love all of you for the support and friendship. I’m always an email away or Facebook message, or Tweet. Please know that while I’m leaving blogging, I’m not leaving you.

I’ve made some big changes with the start of this new year. Over the next year or so, I’ll be giving up my Down the Rabbit Hole website, mainly because it’s too time consuming and costly to maintain two websites on my own. I’ve opened up www.pkspixies.com as my main web hub, because that’s where my focus is right now. I’m having so much fun with my pixie shop. I do monthly markets and periodic festivals and I’ve got a really great thing going with the locals.

My independent book titles have moved exclusively to Amazon, so my Amazon Author page will serve as my author hub from here on out. This is all in an effort to streamline my life and bring what’s important to me most, to the forefront. I’m still writing, and working on revising some old stories as well as crafting some new non-fiction books.

I feel like I’m finally in control of my life again and it’s invigorating.

Some of you know that over the last two years I’d given up my own writing projects to work on a memoir for the mother of an assault victim. Many of you showed me enormous support and encouragement for that, and it’s so appreciated.

I want to share some unpleasant things that will hopefully be of use, so you can learn from my mistakes.

After much deliberation and lost sleep, I terminated my work on the memoir project. I want you to know why, but I don’t post this to be disrespectful to the family I was working with in any way. This is merely writer-to-writer advice.

I was naive to take on this project. Eager, and ambitious, yet very naive. I got nothing in writing of what my compensation would be when I agreed to take this on. A verbal agreement was made between the mother and myself, and I was so sympathetic to the family’s situation, I wanted to approach the job with the utmost care and tenderness.

In doing so, what I did was allowed myself to be taken advantage of. I don’t say this as blame for the family. I say it because I made the mistake of assumption, and of letting my heart dictate my actions. I allowed the mother I was working with to manipulate the entire arrangement over the past two years.

Our verbal agreement of 50/50 split on rights and royalties was swept under the carpet, and almost two years and 3/4 of a story later, I realized that’s what was happening. I’d made the mistake of trusting, and working in good faith.

Immediately I stopped work and explained we needed to iron out our agreement in a written contract. At this time, the mother asked me to give up %10 of our split in a donation to her daughter’s care. It was difficult to digest that kind of request. After all the work I did? And still there was no end in sight for the story.

I’d expected to be done with the story in just a few months, and it’d been dragged out and dragged out. I had nothing in writing to bind her to a deadline. Another mistake I made.

I reluctantly agreed to the 60/40 split (because of my good heart) and wrote up an agreement to serve as a placeholder til we had a book contract. This I sent to the mother for her to sign, and hopefully give me the peace of mind I needed. She told me to do this as well, and that she’d sign it.

A few days later, after she’d received it, she advised me she was going to hire a lawyer to look it over because it was too important to make any bad judgments. She said she’d pay for the lawyer, and I said if it made her feel more comfortable than I had no objections.

Next thing I know, I received a new contract from her lawyer, covering things that we had not yet discussed, and giving all rights to the mother, and only allowing my royalties to be paid from her directly for the maximum of one year after publication.

Now, I wasn’t gonna run out and hire a lawyer to look at this, but I could tell after reading it that it was not written in fair terms to me. I was offended by the obvious manipulation, and didn’t respond for a long while so that I could take time to consider everything spelled out on the lawyer’s contract.

She pressed me to sign and return, not in a rude way, but in an eager way, to which I finally said we need to meet in person to discuss because I didn’t feel comfortable with it. This request was not well received. I insisted this needed to be discussed in person and I did not want to iron out details over texts or email.

She offered to meet me at her lawyer’s office. I did not want to do this and be intimidated or manipulated by a lawyer. I said we should meet just her and I first to iron out our agreement, then we could meet with a lawyer.But after not being able to nail down a meeting date, I received a series of texts questioning my intentions, and insisting I cite all my concerns ahead of time through text messages.

I knew this was a dark road to travel. Again, I told her we need to meet in person, but I was goaded, accused, and insulted. I was left utterly confused as to exactly who it was I was in a partnership with. While, these texts were not belligerent in any way, they were insulting and manipulating, and I said as much.

For example, I was told it seemed like I cared more about what was fair to me than the victim’s care. And I was told that if the mother wanted to pay a writer she would’ve interviewed more.

I was so disheartened after this. All the work I’d done, and I’d raised over $5K for the victim in online fundraisers. Mind you, the daughter really is in need and it costs the family over $100K every year for the intense therapy she requires. I never asked for a cent from these donations or from the family, other than the 50/50 agreement when the book was published.

(Later, I found out that the hired lawyer had donated his services as pro-bono, something that was never made known to me, nor was I ever invited to be a part of the initial contract terms and agreements.)

Throughout the two years I worked with the mother, I allowed her to dictate the writing schedule. It was always at her discretion, whenever it was convenient for her. I traveled to the next town to meet with her on numerous occasions, all on my own gas dime. Anytime she said, “Jump!” I jumped.

I believed in the story and felt like it was such a great opportunity to delve into the kind of deep emotion a personal story like this involves.

And it WAS a writer’s lesson in emotion. It’s helped me develop skills that I never had before.

But I didn’t need THIS story to do that. I just needed A story.

When I finally got the mother to agree to a meeting date to discuss this new lawyer’s contract, I thought we were making strides. I printed up all the points of discussion and got examples of ghostwriting fees. I’d already told her that I felt more like an employee than the partner I was supposed to be.

I understood, it was HER story and she felt protective of it. But it was all MY work from almost two years. Work that had caused me to give up other opportunities. And I didn’t feel like I was getting the respect or appreciation I deserved. I was undervalued and manipulated.

The night before the meeting, she canceled. No explanations. Just a note from her daughter (not even her) that she couldn’t make it. Her daughter also emailed me a revised contract that would hopefully be more of what I was looking for. Again I was insulted. Not because of the new contract, but because all I’d ever asked for in the entire two years of our collaboration, was this one meeting at a midway point for both of us, so that I didn’t have to drive to the next town over to meet her.

I didn’t want to negotiate over emails, and that was exactly what was happening AGAIN.

I told them I’d look it over but I wanted to meet in person. A month went by and no word on any effort to meet. Over that month, I really did some soul searching. I was so far in, and so invested, but why? I had no reason to be anymore. Yes, I’d done so much work, but there was still much more work to be done, and my heart was no longer in it.

I hate being the professional who quits in the middle of the job. I never ever wanted to put the mother in that place of a half-finished manuscript after all she’d been through. But as many of my writer friends reminded me, I didn’t owe her my life, and this project was taking far too long, with far too many uncertainties.

To be frank, I’d lost all trust. And you just can’t work on something that requires so much energy and heart when you have no trust.

I emailed the mom that I wanted out. That she could buy the work I’d done so far and I’d sign the story over to her for a flat rate. We’d been over the option to ghostwrite a number of times in the past and I wanted her to take this option, for my peace of mind. That way she could have the story and all the rights to do with as she pleased. But she made it clear time and again she did not want that.

She only wanted to publish together and split royalties. In other words, have me do all the work in finding a publisher, so she could make all the final decisions in rights and royalties.

Let me say again, I don’t say any of this to bad mouth this family. I try really hard not to judge, and like they say, til you’ve walked a mile in a man’s shoes, you really have no idea what they’re going through or been through.

I have no ill will toward this family, and the victim is completely innocent of anything regarding this project. The family is always in my prayers, and for what they’ve been able to overcome, I commend them.

I share this with you on a professional level–writer to writer, so you can learn from my mistakes. Nobody wants to think negatively about the world and expect the worse. But I’m telling you as frankly as I can put it without being offensive, assume you will be taken advantage of. Everywhere and anywhere. Protect yourself, and your work. 

The mother did email me asking me to keep working for her and that I could write the contract like I wanted. I appreciated that, but as I’ve said, my heart and trust were already spent. I had nothing left to give, and couldn’t quite stomach the idea of a continued partnership.

What can you learn from this?

In going into a partnership with another writer or person, even if you trust them and they are your friend, do yourself a favor and collaborate a contract in the very beginning BEFORE you start work. Both sign it. You don’t need lawyers for this. It’s just a placeholder, but it’s more likely to remind both parties of what they originally agreed to. You can refer back to this if expectations get hazy, or someone gets greedy.

Write down all expectations and do a web search for a contract template between joint authors. Use it to fit your needs, and print out copies for both of you.

Points of interest are: royalty splits, rights, future rights, deadlines for work completion.

Another place I made a mistake is that after I completed every few chapters, I’d send them to the mom for her to review. This is a very poor way to work, and unless both writers are actively involved in writing the story, it’s best to send a completed manuscript to the person you’re writing for once a contract has been agreed upon. Not beforehand.

I did this in the beginning, because the mother really didn’t know me. I wanted to prove to her that I could do the work, so I got to it and after I’d crafted the first few chapters and recreated the scenes from news articles and her verbal recount of events, I sent my early chapters to her for approval, to make sure my work would be suitable for her.

This mistake, although with good intent at first, created a standard of expectation. From then on, anytime I’d do work on more chapters, the mother would ask for them so she could read them, then send me corrections or edits. And I complied, instead of saying no.

This was how we worked for almost two years, and it felt all wrong to me. I was working as a ghostwriter with no promise of payment. I should’ve been more firm in the way things would be handled. I was a PARTNER, after all, not a hired hand. But I let her treat me as a hired hand, and that’s my fault.

I know this post is a small novel in itself, but if it helps, then it’s worth it. Just be very careful in going into partnerships. Assume the worst will happen, then be relieved and happy when it doesn’t. I don’t say that so you form a chip on your shoulder, but so you take the necessary precautions to protect your time, energy, and investment.

Many partnered projects turn out just fine and never go through any of this.

So flash forward to right now, and here I am, unpaid, and without even the sole possession of my labor. The mother already has my work, and I will not be pursuing any type of publication with her. I’ve left myself in a sticky spot, but honestly, I’m just glad to be free of it and making my own choices and writing my own stuff again.

I did inform the mother that my work is my own and she needs to destroy any remaining copies. I left her the option to buy the work I’ve done if she’d like to. (She already told me she has no money to do that.) But I left the option open. Whether or not she keeps my work instead of destroying her copies, I have no way to know. I did remind her of plagiarism laws and that she may not share my work with any other writers, or publish it, under any circumstances.

It’s hard not to feel jaded after something like this, but I chalk it up to a hard lesson learned. Sometimes my passion for an endeavor gets the best of me and I leap without ensuring the proper netting is there to catch me.

Don’t make the same mistakes I did.

All in all, I’m at peace with it. I still get inquiries on the project because I sort of became the face and contact for it, but I know its because you’re all so supportive and interested, and I’m more than happy to answer questions.

I did give the mother and daughter resources to continue their project on their own so they can keep all rights and royalties, which is what they ultimately want anyway.

So that’s that. Weight off my chest.

It’s going to be a great year! If we aren’t already and friends on Facebook or Twitter, please let me know so we can stay connected. I also put out newsletters of all events and updates. I’ll still be around, I just won’t be here on  this blog.

Featuring bits on writing, books, and life which can be found at http://pk-hrezo.blogspot.com