Funniest Spam Mail

We receive spam mail every day, but most of us don’t read it, nor should we. It’s the bane of our digital existence. With that in mind, I decided to turn something we loathe receiving into something we love reading. I scoured the Internet in search of some of the funniest, work appropriate, spam messages. Here are my top 5 excerpts:

1. “HI
   Plese read this is not spaM:…” –BlameItOnTheVoices.com

   I, too, begin all of my professional emails with “HI, this isn’t spaM.” It seems to do the trick.

2. “My name is Mr. Munny Sopheap, the branch Manager of Top bank in Cambodia…” –Smosh.com

   Mr. Munny works at a “Top” bank? Who would have guessed? This seems legitimate. I once had an English teacher in grade school whose name was Mr. English, so it’s not out of the realm of possibilities.

3. “A tape recorder seeks a sandwich. When you see the ski lodge, it means that the tattered customer goes to sleep.” –antespam.co.uk

   This person either has word salad or someone accidentally received a coded message from the government. I repeat, the tape recorder seeks a sandwich. Over.

4. Subject line “Chris is dead, Job for you!” –Lifehacker.com

   I’ve heard stories of New Yorkers keeping a watchful eye on the obituary section of newspapers for potential apartment openings, but this takes it to a whole new level. It begs the question “what, exactly, was Chris’s job?”
   

5. “If you are a time traveler or alien disguised as human and or have the technology to travel physically through time I need your help!” –Geekpreneur.com

   What’s the best way to find a time traveler? Mass email, obviously. I’m actually more interested in the responses this person received. He probably should have started by reaching out to Scott Bakula or Michael J. Fox. Terminators and other malicious time traveling life forms need not apply “Please do not reply if your an evil alien!”