How To Complain To Get What You Want

Let me begin by noting that just because you want something does not mean you should complain until you get it. You should complain only about things about which you are justified in complaining. And you should use the advice below to complain the right way.

Gather up your facts before you complain. You will often be angry when you first want to complain. Maybe you just got a bill for a product that never arrived. Or maybe the product did arrive, but came broken. Or maybe you have been standing in line for ten minutes without anyone noticing you. Now, you are angry. But first, realize that anger is not going to get you what you want. To get what you want you must first think about the other party to whom you want to complain. After you do that, you next need to figure out what will make that other party want to give you what you want.

You do this by playing devil’s advocate. Playing devil’s advocate means that you need to examine your complaint to figure out what is wrong with it. What about your complaint will make the other side not want to give you what you want? Know the weaknesses in your complaint and be prepared to address them. You should also work to figure out what is important to the party to whom you will complain. If it is a local restaurant at which you are a regular customer, you should tell them that you go there regularly but you are now unsure of whether or not you should return. You do this because you know that regular customers are important to it. If it is a company that focuses on people like you, you should let them know that you are their target customer. Put yourself in the other party’s shoes when explaining your complaint and the resolution you want.

Stay Calm. The person to whom you are complaining is a human being who likely has a lot of freedom to give you what you want or to deny it to you. Your job is to make that human being want to give you what you want. Yelling and screaming will usually only make that person want to tell you no, not yes. Be firm, but be kind.

Be Clear About What You Want. If you do not know what you want by complaining, how do you expect the person to whom you are complaining to know? Before you complain, you should have at least one solution in mind. It is usually best not to demand a solution, but to suggest one, and explain why you think your solution is fair. Nobody likes to be bossed around, so I often put forth my solution in the form of a question, like this:

Comcast promised me that my Internet service would be the best in the industry, but my Internet is not working at all. It seems only fair that Comcast comes to my house, fixes its service, gives me a refund for the time it did not work, and maybe even reimburses me for the time I spent finding alternate service and trying to resolve this issue. Does this sound fair to you?

If the person to whom you are complaining does not agree with your proposed solution and does not propose another solution, you should politely ask one or more of the following questions to encourage them to explain their position:

What do you think would be a good solution?

Is this the first time you have heard of this problem?

How have you handled this problem previously?

There are certain expressions that convey clearness in a complaint and you should return to those expressions frequently, with some of the more common ones as follows:

• “I have a problem with XYZ.” You should say this so the other side can understand your exact issue.

• “I want to complain about XYZ.” This makes clear that you will be registering a complaint.

• “This is unacceptable/This is not going to work.” You should use either of these expressions to make clear that you will not tolerate the problem or an unfair solution that the other party is proposing.

• “I need you to fix XYZ.” This sets out exactly what you want changed. You should follow up by explaining your proposed solution.

• “I am concerned about XYZ.” Use this expression to respectfully let the other party know that you either have doubts about the problem itself or the solution that the other party is proposing to you.

Sometimes you have to escalate. Though you should remain nice, you should not lose sight of your goals or stop until your problem is resolved. If being nice does not get you taken seriously or a resolution that works for you and you have become certain that it never will, then you can and should escalate. If you start out nicely and later become angry, your anger will seem both real and justified. Though this can work, even your anger must be controlled and directed. If the person to whom you are complaining is not the person who caused the problem, you should say something like this: “I apologize for getting angry. I am not mad at you, but I am mad at _______. Please understand my frustration here.” Customer support people are trained to understand the emotions of customers. For this reason, asking them point-blank to see your side of a situation can be highly effective.

If doing the above does not work, you will need to escalate further by threatening to do something (legal) or by asking to speak with a high authority within the company. Sometimes it can even help to try again in a day or two with someone else.

I will address all of these escalation tactics in tomorrow’s blog post.

The post How To Complain To Get What You Want appeared first on China Law Blog.

We will be discussing the practical aspects of Chinese law and how it impacts business there. We will be telling you what works and what does not and what you as a businessperson can do to use the law to your advantage. Our aim is to assist businesses already in China or planning to go into China, not to break new ground in legal theory or policy.