KEEP SCHOOLS SAFE (from donuts?)

ROSWELL, New Mexico (IMpossible News) — Research has proven that our schools are some of the safest places that students could ever be. Many different factors and stringent zero tolerance policies have made American schools a haven and refuge even in the most troubled neighborhoods. Dangerous substances and violent implements are rarely found in student possession. And now we can even be rest assured that the destructive consequences of scripture laden donuts will soon be banned from all schools as well.

Many of us concerned parents have been asking ourselves, when was someone going to wise up and lead the way. The Roswell school principal has bravely stood up and spoken out, “No More!” to these calorie saturated sugar glazed time bombs. And, little did we know that if you include a bible scripture, the repercussions of distributing donuts is ten times worse.

Could this be considered a stealthy salvo in the war against obesity. I for one am looking for our first lady, Michelle Obama to publicly commend the brave Roswell principal who blew the horn on this shameful practice and put it squarely on our homeland security radar.

Domestic terrorist dressed as Sunday school children passing out donuts, since this incident, our nation has been put on custard alert.

(This fictional or uncanny report is for entertainment purposes only)

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