The Darkness Before the Angels

I moved in and out of what I call the “Darkness” up until there were Angels in my life.  In some ways, I have a lot to be angry about and maybe I should be an angry “old” man.  But I would say that understanding my life in the Light of my Angels really does make a difference.  It’s not that the Angels took all my anger from me, but the fact is, they took just about all of it.  I see EVERYTHING in my life as being the purpose of the Angels.  Even after there were Angels in my life, I saw EVERYTHING afterwards as serving their divine purpose.  And I still do.  It’s not that I am surrounded by the Light, but that I still can enter into what I call “Dark” periods.  But this “Darkness” isn’t permanent.  In fact, I could say that the Darkness tried to kill me, twice.  In my thinking, Satan wants me dead.  But my Angels told me that my battles with him are over.  Even when I had my heart attack, I knew I wasn’t going to die.  But the pain of that episode was almost unbearable.  It’s the most painful experience I have had in my entire life.  Then a few years later, I had a ruptured appendix that almost took my life again.  Satan can’t kill me.  But sometimes I am not sure what he will try to do to me next.

Some might say I live with a lot of faith when it comes to life and living.  I do.  I put my faith in the worlds of my Angels.  They said no one would harm me and I am not going to die.  But I know what it’s like to face death.  When the surgeon came into the cubical where I was waiting surgery on my ruptured appendix, the surgeon told me in front of my wife, that one of the outcomes of this was death.  He wasn’t going to sugarcoat it for me.  And he didn’t.  But in spite of that pain and in spite of how I was feeling, I  knew everything was going to be OK.  They wheeled me into the surgery room and the anesthesiologist introduced himself to me.  My last words to him were, “Just make sure you give me enough.”  He did.  I came out of that surgery with more tubes in me than I can remember.  But I lived.  And I am fine today.  In fact, even  now as I write this, I can honestly say I feel as well as I have at any time in my life, including both emotionally and physically. 

I feel that now, there is a lot of work for me to do for my Angels.  I have survived three brushes with death in my adult years.  I don’t know how many brushes with death I had when I was a kid.  They are almost too numerous to count.  But I don’t want to think about those events anyway.  I am alive now and that is what is important.  And not only this, but I understand even more from my Angels now than I did after the experience 24 years ago.  I recall going to bed after that experience and I felt a peace I hadn’t felt in all my life.  I knew I had Angels watching over me and they understood me perfectly.  They have been with me all my life.  They were with me in the Darkness of my life.  And I recall laying in my bed thinking to myself that I had been redeemed by Angels.  They literally saved me from myself.  Not everyone can say this.  Since I have understood what it means to live in the Light, I almost feel there isn’t anything about life and living I don’t understand.  Perhaps more importantly, there isn’t anything about death and dying I don’t understand either.  Peace. 

I am Brother Ralphie writing for my Angels from The Angels of Life institute. Brother Ralphie works from his study for the promotion of Peaceful living and inner Peace with God. He calls this the “Sanctity of Human Life Movement.”