Predictions From a Conspiracy Crackpot

By Hank Brown

Pearl Harbor took the Roosevelt Administration completely by surprise. Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. The Gulf of Tonkin incident occurred just as was reported. The BenGhazi attack was a spontaneous protest in reaction to a despicable Youtube video posted a month before the anniversary of 9/11, proving that free speech should be a privilege reserved only for those who think correctly.

Oh, wait…no it wasn’t. It was recognized by the Administration immediately as terrorism, but Obama was ignorant of it or powerless to do anything about it, though he certainly would have acted heroically if at all possible (maybe even cancelling his important Vegas trip). But free speech should still be limited to those who think correctly. And if there was anything more to tell, the objective, impartial news networks would have reported it. Just ask ‘em; they’ll tell ya.

We know all the above is true because to question the official story is considering the possibility that conspiracies exist. We know conspiracies can’t possibly exist because the only people who believe they do are nutcase members of the vast, right-wing conspiracy.

Well, okay, it might be possible conspiracies exist…but only if they are right-wing in nature, designed to thwart the benevolent aspirations of the forces of progress. We know this from watching movies and TV.

Still, divulge too much information about something like the central bank…er, I mean “Federal Reserve,” and somebody’s liable to ask where you left your tinfoil hat.

“Conspiracy” comes from the word “conspire.” The definition of conspire is: To agree together, especially secretly, to do something wrong, evil, or illegal.

And nobody ever does that, right? Thieves and grifters never work in pairs. Politicians don’t make crooked deals with special interests. The Holocaust was spontaneous and accidental, pulled off single-handedly by Adolf Hitler, after openly warning Germany and the world the extent of his plans if he came to power. And assassins are always lone nuts. All that stuff about Julius Caesar? Shakespeare made that up. Bet you didn’t know he wore a tinfoil hat, too.

Oh, wait a minute. I think we’ve found another variable. We better codify this. Let’s establish some ground rules:

1.       The very idea of conspiracy is preposterous.

2.       An exception to Rule # 1 occurs when “right-wingers” are the culprits.

3.       Who and what is “right wing” is determined by left-wingers (which the mainstream media are not—just ask ‘em; they’ll tell ya.)

4.       If conspiracy is possible, then it can only exist for a limited time, such as for a burglary, bank robbery, or case of sexual harassment.

There. Now we’re comfortable again.

Rule # 4 is logically infallible because people can’t keep secrets. If long-term conspiracies were possible, there would be at least some evidence to that effect. For instance, if the quasi-secret Council on Foreign Relations really was a think-tank for the shadow government of the USA, somebody would have blown the whistle on it. Like David Rockafeller and Carol Quigley. But you can’t take their admissions seriously because only crackpot conspiracy nuts do that.  I mean somebody reputable—maybe somebody from the major news organizations (whose CEOs are coincidentally all members of the CFR).

Members of the media never lie, fabricate stories or bury stories in order to push an agenda. Just ask ‘em; they’ll tell ya. Besides, conspirators wouldn’t be interested in controlling news organizations, anyway. Why would they? The sterling character of those neutral, objective, impartial watchmen would repel any behind-the-scenes manipulator like a vampire from garlic. Just ask ‘em and they’ll tell ya.

If you believe organizations like the CFR or Trilateral Commission could try to conceal their purpose and intentions (for the most part) for almost a century, next you’re going to entertain the possibility that multiple generations of adults could conspire to hoodwink multiple generations of children into believing in a magical fat man with flying reindeer who delivers toys from the North Pole to every well-behaved child on the planet at the stroke of Midnight once a year. And furthermore, that once children caught on to the hoax, they would join in the conspiracy to perpetuate the perpetration on succeeding generations.

Rules 1-4 are ironclad, proven by the following empirical data:

A)     Everybody just knows.

B)      We don’t want to believe it’s true; therefore it’s not.

C)      The alleged conspirators deny that there is a conspiracy. Most of them, anyway.

D)     If there really were such things, the objective, incorruptible media would tell us.

So, knowing all of the above, we can safely assume that the 2012 election was on the up-and-up. All evidence to the contrary should be ignored. All who bring attention to that evidence should be ridiculed and have their character maligned. They’re just sore loser crybabies. Racists, too.

The audacity to infer that military servicemen have a right to vote and illegal aliens don’t! That voter eligibility should be confirmed with identification! Pshaw.

Buying cigarettes and watching rated “R” movies are much more important than choosing the decision-makers of a nation, so it makes perfect sense to require ID for the former but not the latter, and we need to strong-arm the states which do require evidence of eligibility so future elections can be even more legitimate. It is only coincidence that the numbers of registered voters during the election exceeded the number of people of legal age to vote in hundreds of precincts in swing states where ID was not required. Also coincidence that untold pallets full of absentee ballots from our troops overseas were never delivered. Anyone who says different is a sore loser racist crybaby conspiracy nut. Case closed.

Since we’ve established that conspiracy theory is utterly preposterous, using the irrefutable confirmations of emotion, public opinion, wishful thinking, and the reliability of the mainstream media, let’s now change gears, and get theoretical for purely academic purposes.

Let’s pretend it’s possible that a person or persons who hate this country were entrusted with the leadership of this country. Let’s stretch the boundaries of imagination even further and pretend that one of them, maybe even their figurehead, went on record before taking office that his intent was to fundamentally transform the United States of America.

Let’s pause right there. What are the fundamentals, or underlying principles, that America was founded on? Everyone knows, since government schools do such a good job at educating the people (and we know this because of the increasing mountains of our tax dollars being flushed…er, poured into them), that the Constitution is the law of the land. But before the Constitution was drafted, the founders of this republic summed up the fundamentals this way:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed…”

To sum that up: individuals have rights which are God-given, and the purpose of our government is to protect those individual rights. (The Constitution breaks down how that is to be done.) The idea is that elected officials are our servants. To transform those fundamentals is to change the dynamic between government and the individual. (“Change”—wouldn’t that make a catchy political slogan?) In other words, the people live to serve the ruling class, as in other countries, including the one we gained independence from. Rights come from government, and can be modified or taken away according to the whims of whoever is in power; and most of the time those rights depend on what group you’re associated with—they are not universal down to the individual level. And the ruling class is not accountable to the people.

A government with these fundamentals was once called fascist, communist, a dictatorship, oligarchy or a monarchy. Of course no such form of government exists anymore, unless it is “right wing” in nature.

Since we know the American electorate is far too well-informed to ever vote for somebody who openly admitted intentions to fundamentally transform our Constitutional republic, I must engage in some purely hypothetical speculation.

First of all, to even get to such a farfetched scenario, those who desired the “fundamental transformation” must have a monopoly on the flow of information. So what is professed in academia and by the mainstream media would have to be carefully manipulated so that only information which makes the agenda seem reasonable is disseminated. And this would have had to been implemented relentlessly and progressively over a few generations, so that the receptive ideology permeated the culture thoroughly.

Secondly, the Supreme Court and Congress would have to be co-opted into the cause, so that there was no meaningful challenge to the executive branch.

How would such an administration, with its necessary lackeys (and the forces behind them, since we’re being hypothetical), consolidate power and complete the transformation?

The Bill of Rights would need to be nullified. Freedom of speech and religion would need to be limited to only those in lock-step with the fundamental transformers—and their useful idiots. Freedom from unwarranted searches would have to go. Ditto right to a jury trial.

But most important of all, the American citizens would have to be disarmed.

Let’s just pretend such were within the realm of possibility. How would the American people be convinced to give up their right to bear arms?

Maybe some sort of crisis would do it. An epidemic of gun violence, maybe. School shootings. Public shootings. Murder-suicides. Lone nuts committing atrocities in state after state. Maybe federal law enforcement could even figure out a way to get firearms, which are legal for law-abiding Americans to own, into the hands of gangs and drug cartels, to be used in the commission of hundreds of murders. Maybe even some of the victims could be in law enforcement, like border agents, perhaps.

Such incidents would have to be used to condition the attitude of the population at large (not that the population at large is gullible enough to be manipulated by hype and emotion). This must be prep work for the coup de gras. Or is it coup de tat?

The next logical step would have to be a horrific atrocity, via false flag operation. Like a domestic terror incident, or an assassination attempt. Bombing of a federal building might do it, if the body count is high enough. But an assassination of the chief fundamental transformer would be brilliantly efficient. Of course if the opposition to the transformation were implicated in an orchestrated subsequent investigation, the public at large, even as rational as it is in the face of emotion and hype, might possibly approve of a purge against the opposition. Moreover, the transformers would now have a martyr, whose embarrassing incompetence, fraud, high crimes and treason (which the media might have failed to completely conceal, despite its best efforts) would be forever forgotten.

In a nationwide purge, it would be helpful if much of the legislation needed were already passed, providing for indefinite detention without trial, suspension of habeus corpus, etc.

But more legislation would have to be rammed through, too, while the media blitz intensified. Federal police, military and paramilitary forces would have to be portrayed as heroic defenders of order, while those they arrested, killed, etc., would need to be demonized. In addition to painting them as dangerously insane, they would have to be labeled racist, too.

Their hate, if left unchecked, would destroy civilization itself, see. They must be stopped at any cost. No sacrifice is too great. So some more change is gonna have to take place around here…

You know, kinda’ like what happened in every other nation where people surrendered liberty for the promise of safety.

Again, this is strictly theoretical, since we know that every part of such a scenario is utterly impossible. Sleep soundly, knowing that our countrymen are far too rational, informed, and morally stalwart to ever be herded down such a path.

Hank Brown is a veteran, a patriot, an armchair historian and an author who USUALLY confines his political screeds to Facebook. His novels include the military thriller Hell and Gone and the forthcoming sequel, Tier Zero. On his Two-Fisted Blog he frequently spouts off his opinions on books and movies.

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