Valentine’s Day Coffee Drinks: Shafts

I have a special place in my heart – and mouth – for shafts. Ow ow!

I do not however, have quite the same adoration for Valentine’s Day. I know, I know. There’s a lot of different reasons to not get all up in the biznass of Valentine’s Day. Mandatory romance, over-priced prix fixe menus, the heterosexism of it all, long stemmed roses (blech) and all that awful red-pink-white colour combining. Some things were just not meant to be together.

Like chocolate and peanut butter (don’t judge). Or nails on a chalkboard. Or cotton in your mouth. Or square pegs and round holes. Or oil and water. Or power tools and booze. Or salt and wounds. Or asshole motorists and asshole cyclists. Or pedophiles and playgrounds. Some things, should really just be kept separate.

In this case, me and Valentines day.

But because I’m a food blogger and because the rest of the mainstream internets are asking for Valentine’s Day recipes, and because I have a special place in my heart of hearts for this one, and because I’m kind of in love with my monthly coffee delivery service, I decided to spring into the swing of things and talk about how much I love shafts.

Not those shafts.

And certainly not drive shafts. Though my high school boyfriend did teach me how to assemble a truck engine. No big deal or anything, but I’m bad ass like that.

I’m talking about the cocktail. The coffee drink to end all other coffee drinks. The proud, tested (oh so many times) and true pre-shift fuel for all restaurant industry staff on Vancouver Island. This, is where I first discovered the brilliance that is coffee, Baileys, Kahlua, vodka and a straw.

Baby these things go together like ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong!

Now, my obsession with this coffee drink could be because Victoria itself, has a very smurshy place in my heart. I mean it’s unpacked, hung window treatments and is talking about getting a cat in there. I moved to Victoria in 2005 on a whim and out of desperation to get out of Alberta. And it was the best decision I ever made. Once I got there, I found a job (or 3), attended university, met some of the best friends of my life, discovered feminism (woot!), started growing my own crops, met the love of my life, and got to food blogging. If it weren’t for that U-Haul disaster that got me there (tell you about that another time), I wouldn’t be here. With you. And a great big ‘ole shaft in my mouth.

When I started working in my first restaurant there, I noticed everyone – bartenders, servers, managers, bussers (if they’re lucky), kitchen staff – were caning these. It was akin to putting on your apron – you just did it. And let me tell you: Once you pop, you can’t stop.

It even went so far as when I moved to Toronto – the land of all that is cold and awful – and tried to order a round, the server threw a tantrum because “that’s not even a real cocktail”.

I’m not saying I moved away from Toronto because they wouldn’t make me a shaft…. But that’s kind of what I’m saying.

Let me tell you my friends: It IS a real cocktail. I’ve been there. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Tasted it with my own mouth. And it. was. glorious.

Let it be said I asked you not to use power tools when consuming alcohol, yes? Good. Now go make yourself one or ten of these. The secret is this is NO sipping drink. You gotta cane that bad boy. Hock it back. Right down your gullet. I’m pretty sure the alcohol is rendered ineffective because of the caffeine but I could be wrong. Regardless, this bad boy with percolate you right up.

I clearly have a serious infatuation with coffee drinks, shafts in particular. But I kind of love you too. And by kind of I mean I stalk you all the time. So while I refuse to buy you pretty red and white Valentine’s Day propaganda or bake you a heart shaped cake topped with perfect pink buttercream frosting, I DO want you to put my shaft in your mouth. And then cheers me, you, us, our experiences that have led us here, Parachute Coffee who keeps me right buzzed at all hours of the day and night, and the drunken power-tool use that is sure to ensue.

…Despite my insistent warnings. Because we’re bad ass like that. Right?

Ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong. Haha… “dong”.

Happy Valentine’s Day my friends. I love you.

Have you ever had a shaft? What are you feelings toward Valentine’s Day? What other things belong together? What things should NEVER go together? Ever make bad decisions when it comes to power tools? Spill it below in the comments!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I am a brand ambassador for Parachute Coffee and they DID provide me with financial compensation and a bag of Detour Coffee Beans at no cost to mention their company here. Regardless, I only recommend, giveaway or share products or services I use personally and genuinely believe will be of interest to my readers. All opinions, words and information here are entirely accurate and a reflection of my true experience and were not influenced, in any way, by the above mentioned products or companies. Opinions and views are my own. Because that’s how I roll, yo. I’ve never been one to shut my mouth – I’m not going to start now. If something sucks, why would I waste your time? I wouldn’t. Capiche?

The post Valentine’s Day Coffee Drinks: Shafts appeared first on She Eats.

Kristy Gardner
Lascivious lover of good, “ethical” food & wine.

http://gastronomicalsovereignty.blogspot.com

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