America On The Move!

Source: Decline of the Empire

Reader Mike thought I could do something with the recent story Obama, in Florida, unveils plan to boost tourism. He was right, I think there’s something there, a useful lesson for all of us.

LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. (AP) — President Barack Obama planted his political flag in Florida on Thursday ahead of the state’s Jan. 31 Republican presidential primary, promising a fresh boost to the economy by making it easier for foreign tourists to travel to the U.S.

Obama sought his piece of Florida’s political spotlight with a high-profile appearance at Walt Disney World, where he announced initiatives aimed at making it easier for citizens of China and Brazil to visit the United States.

“America is open for business,” Obama declared against the backdrop of Disney’s Cinderella castle and picture-perfect blue skies. “We want to welcome you”…

While Obama carried Florida in 2008, the state is a top target for Republicans in the November elections. Florida twice backed Republican George W. Bush, providing the decisive electoral votes in the cliffhanger 2000 election that was decided after a 36-day recount.

Tourism is a key component to the economy in Florida, which has been battered by 10 percent unemployment and rampant home foreclosures.

The White House said more than 1 million U.S. jobs could be created over the next decade, according to industry projections, if the U.S. increases its share of the international travel market.

That’s a pretty lousy view of Cinderella castle. Here’s a much, much better one.

That’s Walt and Mickey in Magic Kingdom Theme Park. Cinderella Castle is in the background

What did Obama do after his inspirational visit to The Magic Kingdom?

From Florida, Obama headed to New York City for four glitzy campaign fundraisers, including an event at the famed Apollo Theater featuring performances by Al Green and India.Arie. Tickets to that fundraiser start at $100.

The president also was to attend a $35,800 per ticket fundraiser at the home of director Spike Lee, and two small fundraisers at Daniel, an exclusive Manhattan restaurant. Tickets start at $5,000 for the first restaurant fundraiser and $15,000 for the second.

Obama raised more than $220 million for his campaign and the Democratic National Committee through the end of 2011.

I know there are some doubters reading this. Dour pessimists who don’t have the “can-do” spirit. Shame on you. You should stop thinking of Obama’s tourism bullshit initiative as sad and pathetic, not to mention cynical, insulting and manipulative. Let’s look on the Bright Side. This glass is half full.

After all, as Hopey-Changey himself notes in the video below, Fantasy is America’s biggest export. And those dastardly Republicans are not going to make it easier for Brazilian and Chinese tourists to visit the Magic Kingdom. They’ll probably order strip searches of all foreigners at America’s airports, which might create some jobs in Homeland Security, but will do nothing to boost tourism revenues in Florida, where the “official” unemployment rate is 10% and you can’t go outside without tripping over a foreclosed house.

Most importantly, Brazilian and Chinese tourists will smoothly replace all those Americans who can no longer afford to visit Disney World. Toward that noble end, I propose the “America On The Move!” tour package especially designed to lure those Brazilians and Chinese to our native shores.

America On The Move!

You’ll be happy to know that the Greatest Country on Earth is now open for business. Whether you’re from Hong Kong or São Paulo, you take pride in your own country, right?

And what is better for boosting your pride & patriotism than Schadenfreude?

To that end, we introduce the America On The Move!™ package designed to make your American stay a happy one.

• Your journey kicks off with a tour of foreclosed homes in Riverside, California and Las Vegas, Nevada. After viewing the disaster in Nevada, you can boost the revenues of America’s failing casinos by gambling the night away!
• The journey continues with a visit to a welfare/supplemental nutrition assistance office in Tempe, Arizona. Don’t know what supplmental nutrition assistance is? Not to worry! Here in America we call it Food Stamps. Did you know that over 48 million Americans—that may be more people than there are in your whole country!—would starve if they didn’t receive this assistance? Your pride in your native land will swell and swell as you watch these pathetic Americans trying to stay alive.
  
• Your pleasurable trip to the welfare office will be followed by a trip to a local public library—if we can find one that’s still open!—to see how America’s homeless spend their days reading Vogue or Fortune magazines. Nobody knows what they do at night!
  
• If you’ve purchased our Special Package, get ready because there’s Big Fun coming! Yes, you will visit famous Detroit city, formerly the Automaking Capital of the World and now a burnt-out husk.

  
  Dismantling Detroit. The filmmakers Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady look at young men who salvage scrap metal from Detroit’s derelict buildings, set against the backdrop of globalization. One of the men, who had come up from Kentucky to scrap after losing a job in a coal mine, stands out in our minds. Taking a short break from the action, he looked up and said with disgust, “All that’s left here are the remnants of what was.”

The Schadenfreude (and the fun!) never stops on the American On The Move tour. What could possibly be better than taking pleasure in the misery of these ignorant, insufferable Americans? They’re not entitled anymore! Contact us at Magic Kingdom Travel to book your reservations today.

Bonus Video — Hopey-Changey Speaks To The Nation

Read more at Decline of the Empire