You Know You're in Strange Economic Times When...

Strange times

Consumers are trying to turn disposables into returnables

“CVS Discovers Used Enemas on Store Shelves”  (First Coast News)

http://www.ksdk.com/news/article/326830/9/CVS-discovers-used-enemas-on-store-shelves-

JACKSONVILLE, Fla.  — There’s an empty shelf at the CVS store at 9509 San Jose Blvd.

No enemas; instead, a sign directed people who bought them to call a consumer hotline. Police are concerned

that people unknowingly bought used enemas.

Police say a man began buying the enemas in March and started returning them in April.

On Tuesday, a CVS clerk thought it was strange the same man kept returning enemas. When they checked the

enema boxes currently on the shelf, they discovered they were already used.

More testing confirmed the dirty truth: fecal matter on the enemas bottles ready for sale.

“I was just kinda shocked. But in today’s economic times, like I said before, people are doing some strange

things. This has got to rank up there with strange,” said customer Bob Robbins.

Rappers are giving financial advice

“‘How To Survive In A Recession’ With Slim Thug: ‘Making It Rain? That’s Stupid’” (MTV)

http://rapfix.mtv.com/2012/07/24/slim-thug-how-to-survive-in-a-recession-ebook-tips/

Rapper/boss/hustler Slim Thug just added another slash to his handle: author. After boasting this line:

“Hard times got the whole United States stressin’/I’m writin’ a book, how to survive in a recession” in his

second verse on “I Run” from his second solo opus, Boss of All Bosses, the towering MC decided to deliver on

his promise to teach the dos and don’ts to those trying to “stack bread” and those just trying to stay in

their financial lane by penning the book, “How To Survive In A Recession.”

“I said in the second verse of ‘I Run’ I was gonna write a book about how to survive in a recession, so then

people began to ask when was the book coming out?” Slim told RapFix. “I was just playing, really. But when

people began to inquire, asking and wanting me to write the book, I just started writing in my iPhone

different tips you can use to stack up bread. Then I met a girl who was a publisher, so I told her what it

was and we put it together. We made it happen.”

The 47-page e-book offers an entertaining prospective into the mind of an independent artist who managed to

carve out his own very comfortable financial niche amongst hip-hop’s fiscal elite. The self-proclaimed Black

Suze Orman offers sound financial advice in the humorous tone fans have come to recognize via Thugga’s

lyrical wordplay and retweetable Twitter commentaries.

“I watch the Suze Orman Show,” Slim told RapFix. “That’s part of the reason I’m cheap. You’ll see regular 9

to 5 people and they’ll be like, ‘we have a million in this, $600, 000 in that and this amount of liquid’

and they just going to work every day. And I’m like, hold up, man, what are we doing wrong? How regular

people gettin’ all this? It just opened my eyes and I started watching the show more and more and I learned.

I always been cheap, but it made me more up on game and aware of what’s going on around me.”

For instance, Slim Orman advises one to never have Bentley bills with a Benz salary: “This goes back to one

of the most basic rules; don’t live beyond your means. Don’t buy a big house when you don’t make big money.

I always say if you can’t buy it THREE times over, you can’t afford it. Don’t drive a Bentley on a Benz

income.”

Criminals are choosing prison over freedom

http://www.wctv.tv/news/headlines/Local_Jail__162403936.html?ref=936

“Inmate Population Spikes In Local Jail” (WCTV.tv)

Thomas County, Georgia- The Thomas County Jail has seen a 23% increase in inmate population over a three to

four month period.

Sheriff’s Deputies believe the poor economy could be a contributing factor.

“Some people that are coming to jail are not bonding out because of economics,” said Thomas County Sheriff’s

Office spokesman Capt. Steve Jones. “It’s cheaper to stay here and to sit for a couple weeks and then go to

court.”

State prisons are also trying to reduce their inmate populations, which results in more offenders being

placed on probation.

“Work is difficult to find and when they’re not working, they’re not paying fines, and when they’re not

paying fines, they’re not reporting to probation officers. Thus they revoke probation and when they revoke

probation, they come to county jail,” Capt. Jones added.

Adult toys are selling better than children’s toys

“Sex Toy Market Booms Amid Recession” (RT)

http://rt.com/usa/news/recession-sex-industry-toy-531/

Sex toys have been around for more than a century, and it turns out that the industry is impenetrable in the

times of economic downtown.

For many industries across the United States, the economic downtown has resulted in many companies making

fewer profits and devoting far fewer resources to innovation and development. One industry that’s not the

case for is the sex toy industry.

“There’s three areas of the economy that tend to do okay in a recession: alcohol, make-up and sex toys,”

said Jacq Jones, owner of Sugar Sex Toy Store in Baltimore, Maryland. Jones said her store has been open for

five years and 2012 has been her best year ever, in terms of sales.

For some specific items, like Luna Balls, sales are through the roof.

“I used to sell one or two a month,” Jones said. “Now I’m selling ten a week.”

“Soft Game Sales Weigh on Hasbro’s 2Q Earnings” (Associated Press)

http://www.live5news.com/story/19086781/soft-game-sales-weigh-on-hasbros-2q-earnings

PAWTUCKET, R.I. – Toy maker Hasbro Inc. said Monday its second-quarter net income dropped 25 percent on weak

sales in most categories as revenue in major product categories including boys, girls and games declined.

But higher prices and cost-cutting helped the maker of Monopoly, Nerf and My Little Pony beat analysts’

earnings expectations. Its shares rose 4 percent.

The second quarter is seasonally small for toy makers, which make the bulk of their sales during the second

half of the year and the holiday season. But it can give indications about the strength or weakness of toy

demand.

Revenue fell 11 percent in the latest quarter, missing Wall Street expectations. That drop reflected lower

sales in Hasbro’s boys, girls and games categories. Hasbro said that was partly planned, because the company

is working to make inventory more in line with when people buy toys, later on in the year.

Escalators are the new restrooms

“Human Waste Shuts Down BART Escalators” (SFGate)

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Human-waste-shuts-down-BART-escalators-3735981.php

When work crews pulled open a broken BART escalator at San Francisco’s Civic Center Station last month, they

found so much human excrement in its works they had to call a hazardous-materials team.

While the sheer volume of human waste was surprising, its presence was not. Once the stations close, the

bottom of BART station stairwells in downtown San Francisco are often a prime location for homeless people

to camp for the night or find a private place to relieve themselves.

All those biological excretions can gum up the wheels and gears of BART’s escalators, shutting them down for

long periods of extended repairs, increasing station cleaning costs and creating an unpleasant aroma for

morning commuters.