Obama's Acceptance Speech - As It Should Be

[Editor’s Note: The following post is by Jim Karger, TDV legal correspondent]

“A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse over loose fiscal policy, (which is) always followed by a dictatorship.” — Alexander Tyler, 1887

(An empty stage. Obama is nowhere in sight. There is no warmup act. The lights go down. A screen drops. The entirety of Romney’s  nomination acceptance speech is played. Americans haven’t disliked a Presidential  nomination acceptance speech that much since 1996. Lights come up. Obama is standing, open collar, no podium, a knowing smile ear to ear.)

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”

(He does a 360 on his heels.)

“You want some of that shit?” (Obama yells to the crowd, pointing to the screen, Romney’s huge head and constipated smile frozen in time.)

“Here’s the bottom line muthafucka’s . . . I didn’t do you right. No! I bent you over and banged you like a gong!”

(Another 360-degree pivot on his heels . . . Evil grin.)

“And . . . I liked it!

“You want the truth? I give you some true-on, brothers and sisters!

“I gave money to the banksters and gave you homeowners the shaft.

“I signed the Patriot Act so I can spy on any and everyone of you that might try and screw up my very fine deal here.

“I signed the NDAA last New Year’s Eve when you were all out getting shit-face drunk. Now I can cage my political enemies at will. Hell, I can kill them all if I am having a bad day. And, every Tuesday is a bad day for me.

“I have built the world’s biggest spy center, so big we can and do monitor every email and every phone call. When the time is right, listen up, I am coming after you name-calling bastards.

“And, if you hillbillies have any thoughts of using your pea-shooters to stop me, let me ask you a question: Can you spell ‘drone’?

“I promised to create jobs. I can’t create jobs. Neither can Bozo,” (He points to the screen again) “What? You want me to hire all you crackheads?

“I promised no tax increases if you are a peon, a technical term I use for the little people. What I did instead was create new taxes, from tanning to cigarettes to not buying my insurance. What can I say? We needed the dough.

“So, you ask, with a record like that, why should you vote for that mo-fo? Good question, mo-fo’s!

(Stares at floor, becomes pensive.)

“Now, listen to me carefully, America . . .

“Did you watch that goofy bastard on the video a minute ago? He is one rich dude and he is crazier than a load of meth-whores. He is livin’ in the 50s. He really believes that shit.

“You know how he got rich? He took your fuckin’ money, that’s how! He would borrow a pile, buy companies, lay off thousands of hard working’ folks like you, and even those of you who laid on the clock your whole life. He made millions and millions and then he squirreled it away in hidden bank accounts none of you are ever going’ to see, and none of you is ever goin’ to spend!

“And a shout out to you who still have blue collar jobs. If Mitt-tard takes my job, he and his friends are going to give your jobs to the Mexicans and the Chinese. Why? Because that’s what he has always done and that is what he does best.

“And you few that still have union jobs where you are overpaid to do substandard work, an American tradition, bend over and kiss your asses ‘goodbye.’ Unions won’t exist if Cardboard Smiley takes over.

“Government employees — you’re hosed, too. No more fancy pensions where you actually know what you are going to get after workin’ or on being disability for 30 years, whichever you can pull off first. Ram-butt up there needs that money to arm your children and send them off to fight Iranians as so much canon fodder.

“And, those of you who are on food stamps, all 50 million of you, if Mr. Big Bucks takes my job, can you spell ‘starve’? Probably not, but you will learn it soon enough.

“And, those of you who can’t afford a doctor and are on Medicaid, well, you need to learn to spell ‘dead’, because that is what you are going to be and soon.

“And, finally, to you 62 million sucking Social Security’s tit, and you selfish-ass Baby Boomers who can’t wait to get your paws on the loot, well, he is coming for your Social Security, too. Not in the future, but now. Why? Because you are old and worthless. You don’t do shit except bitch and take 27 pills every morning and he is going to cut you off at the wind pipe.

“Romney up there loves tellin’ sports stories, tellin’ you that you are in important member of America’s ‘team’. Yeah, right. To Mr. Hair, you are a member of America’s team the same way a jock strap is a member of a football team — necessary, but easily replaced.

(Sighs heavily, shaking head.)

“You want the bottom line, America? I can’t hear you! You want the bottom line?

(Crowd screams “Yeah!”)

“Numb nuts and I both support endless wars, perpetual killing, the war on drugs, military industrial complex, Patriot Act, NDAA, SOPA, TSA, DHS, and the Federal Reserve Counterfeiting System. We are also both going to kiss Goldman Sachs’ ass. They and the rest of the power elite are, after all, the owners.

“The only difference, and this is important, Joe Lunchbucket, is I know better than to let things get out of hand over a few crumbs that fall from the table. That’s the difference. I am going to take your shit away from you, too, for sho, but I am going to finesse it out of you using inflation. You don’t even know what means so it won’t hurt a bit.

“That evil bastard right there? (Obama raises both middle fingers to screen.) He is going to cut your checks, going to stop puttin’ them in the mail. You know what that means, don’t ya, Bubba?”

(Smiles slyly.)

“So, vote for me and get a little somethin’ for nothin’. Thank you, America!”

(Crowd goes wild as Obama prances offstage.)

Sound crazy? Sure, but count the votes.

• Union members – 14.8 million
• City, Country, Municipal employees – 16.4 million
• Federal employees – 2.65 million
• Food stamp recipients – 50 million
• Social Security recipients – 61.6 million

Total: 145 million

Only about 50% of eligible voters will actually pull themselves away from TV and porn to vote. That equals about 140 million votes. Those he can (and will) scare the shit out of total 145 million. He won’t get them all, but he has more than enough after you add in the old liberals, 97% of the black vote, 75% of hispanics, the guys who can’t get laid unless they appear “sensitive,” the highly educated who are pissed they were never able to monetize their PhDs in Sociology, Femi-nazis who hate men but who convince themselves they are voting for Michelle, and all the selfish pigs who use their support of a nanny-state as a reason to give nothing to charity and still feel good about themselves.

If Obama plays his cards right, that will be more than enough and will mark a milestone in the endgame of the American experiment.

Epilogue

I sent this script to Obama, knowing that while he won’t use it verbatim, he may adopt its fundamental premise: Obama will win if he attacks Romney as just another silver spoon bully whose real desire is as it has always been — make the rich richer even if it means starving the poor. Throw enough crap on the wall it would take two lifetimes to scrape it off.

The losing hand will be to try and spin history and make it appear he lived up to his promises of four years ago.

Sounds easy, but taking a pass on taking credit will be difficult for a congenital narcissist. 

Jim Karger is a lawyer who has represented American businesses against incursions by government and labor unions for 30 years. He has been the subject of many feature articles, including “Outlandish Labor Lawyer Gets No Objections From Staid Clients”, published in The Wall Street Journal, and most recently was featured in an article entitled “You Can Get There From Here”, published by the American Bar Association. In 2001, he left Dallas, and moved to San Miguel de Allende in the high desert of central Mexico where he sought and found a freer and simpler life for he and his wife, Kelly, and their 10 dogs.

Today, Jim takes a handful of assignments each year, and speaks regularly to industry associations and employers on issues involving government regulation, over-criminalization, and privacy. His website is www.crediblyconnect.com

Well…

Nothing much to add to that..!

Except maybe this, a little taste of the economic prowess of Obama supporters:

The police state is only half America’s problem. How economically viable can a nation be when at least half the citizens believe “profit” is a dirty word? Oy veh. Fascists on one side. Commies on the other. This does not bode well. 

Regards,

Editor
The Dollar Vigilante

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