Dude, "It's Going To Be A Bloodbath": Newly Private Dell To Fire 15,000
ZeroHedge
Curious why Michael Dell was so eager to take the company he founded private? So he could do stuff like this without attracting too much attention. According to the Channel Register, the recently LBOed company is “starting the expected huge layoff program this week, claiming numbers will be north of 15,000.” Of course, with a private sponsor in charge of the recently public company, the only thing that matters now is maximizing cash flows in an environment of falling PC sales, a commoditisation of the server market and a perceived need to better serve enterprises with their ever-increasing mobile and cloud-focused IT requirements – things that do not bode well for Dell’s EBITDA – and the result is perhaps the largest axing round in the company’s history. But at least the shareholders cashed out while they could.
More on the upcoming layoffs:
We heard from people close to the Round Rock Dell HQ area that Dell management has every conference room booked, and every HR person and security staff member is at work. There are cuts in all departments, according to one of our sources, who says some of these have already been downsized and are now being told to cut 15 per cent more heads.
We hear the worldwide layoff number is now greater than 15,000 people.
Our insider commented: “It’s going to be a bloodbath.”
So what can those on the receiving end of said bloodbath expect? Not much. “The severance package is two months’ pay plus an extra week of pay for each year of service, a bonus at 75 per cent, obligated COBRA health insurance for 18 months in the United States, and outplacement services (in the US at least).”
continue article at ZeroHedge:
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-02-03/dude-its-going-be-bloodbath-newly-private-dell-fire-15000
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Whistler Blowers, Insiders
Yea fire tech support!!!
Hello my name is Gary,what size slushie do you want?
Dell is still around?
Don’t follow to poo….Should have hooked up with Google and surf with the Droid dude!
For those that are waiting for the STHF, well, it is going on now. Its like a train reck in slow-moe. By the time people see what has happened, it will be over and it will be to late. Open your eyes and see what is going on from bankers deaths, withdrawal limits, troop movements, rise of the police state and the out right criminality of this government gust for starters. Its going on as we speak.
Once upon a time Dell was great. The people taking your order could not have been more helpful. It was great right up to the point in which you experienced a problem. Then everything went to hell. I ordered a camera and all they sent was the memory card. After several weeks I contacted them about the whereabouts of the camera. They said that it was backordered. Several more weeks passed and I called again. They said the camera was discontinued and no longer available. I asked what they could swap it out for and they found a different model. Several more weeks passed and I called again. They said that they could not ship the camera as the initial price of my first camera ordered combined with the price of the replacement camera exceeded my credit limit. I’m scratching my head wondering what in the hell are they thinking. I never got the first camera because it was discontinued so how could it be charged to my account. They said they would look into it. Several more weeks passed and I started getting collection calls for non-payment for two cameras I never received. Then I get a call from some guy who sounds like he is from India. He accuses me of trying to steal from them. I am slow to rage but they managed to get me there in record time. I finally was able to talk to someone in the US and I literally had to physically threaten them to get them to finally figure out what they had done. Then they asked if I still wanted the camera. I mean it’s been like a year I have been fighting them. I said not only no, but hell no. Then they had the gall to tell me I had to send the memory stick back at my expense. I told them to go and FK themselves. I never heard another word from them, Thank God. If they go belly up it’s fine by me.
What is that contraption the guy is holding in the photo? I bet he likes to eat those yellow round rock donuts…
That is the device the people at Dell use when they want to believe that America still want’s to buy their POS computers. When implemented, from the top down, all Dell employees feel as if everything is going to be okay, dude.
YOU ALL SHOULD DO LIKE ME!
TRICK THEM INTO GIVING YOU CREDITS!
ABUSE THEM TILL YOUR CREDITS ARE MAXED OUT!
KEEP THE STUFF YOU GOT AND NEVER PAY THEM AGAIN!
END RESULT? YOU GO THE STUFF FREE AND NOW WON’T OWN THEM ANYTHING SINCE THEY WILL BE NO MORE! PROBABLY THEY DO NOT EVEN HAVE MY FILE THERE ANYMORE!
Why was my comment from yesterday deleted by the Nazi ? Did I offend them when I said Dell is crap ?
I’ll get back to you on that.
Note: (Check for my coupon on the back of your cereal box)
OMG, talking about a solid gold parachute?!
Get those ‘seperation perks’ – “Those on the receiving end of the bloodbath can expect:”
Severance of 2 months pay
Severance of one additional week of pay for each year worked
A Severance bonus of 75-percent of first two items
COBRA health coverage for 18-months (US)
Job Outplacement assistance (to help you find a new job or locate new skills)
So, by this count, old ‘Johnny Ramanamaputra’ who worked for them for 10 years and is currently making $55k a year as a phone-tech-guru can expect:
$9,167 base
$11,458 (10 weeks at base pay)
$14,000 (75% Severance bonus)
COBRA Health and Job Assistance
AND LET’S NOT FORGET, that 60, 75, 99 weeks of UNEMPLOYMENT at $300-$400 a WEEK!
So, he just got let go for $34,500 cash (about 7 months of regular income), plus guaranteed unemployment for another year (which won’t even kick in, until all severance is paid out), plus BCBS-quality health insurance.
OMG – Can I get them to fire me, too? Why are you crying for these people? I don’t see Dell as evil over this, anymore than I see this offer as ‘too stingy’.
Damn people, learn math and realize what you are ‘mourning’ for.