Everyone Is Going To Jail!

[Editor's Note: The following post is by TDV Editor-in-Chief, Jeff Berwick]

As we watch the military-style police roll out in Missouri this week I have some bad news – we are all at risk for being kidnapped and thrown in a cage. We know we usually harp on how bad it is getting in the US, but all over the western world people are being thrown in jail for what would be laughable reasons if this were not real life. 

Let’s be straightforward –  the US incarcerates staggering numbers of individuals. 

And the trend shows this is only going to get worse:

Even companies are at risk, like FedEx. The Justice Department filed charges against FedEx Corp accusing it of conspiracy to launder money in connection with its prescription-drug case against the package-delivery concern. Basically, FedEx is in trouble for not acting as an arm of law enforcement. So, by extension, if any of us don’t act as agents of the state, we could be going to jail. If FedEx can, anyone can!

Want to get an idea of just how out of hand it is getting? Here are some straightforward examples. 

1. Woman jailed for not returning 2005 video rental

A South Carolina woman, Kayla Michelle Finley, spent a night in jail this year for failing to return a VHS tape she rented in 2005 of a Jennifer Lopez movie.

“I’m no criminal, but Pickens County Sheriff’s office sure made me feel like I was,” she wrote. “Some of you need to quit (judging) like you are. This is a bogus charge and everyone knows it.”

Luckily she had rewound the tape…

2. Woman Serves Overnight For Overdue Library Books

When New Mexico resident Lori Teel checked out a Twilight book and DVD from her local library in 2010, she forgot about them for two years. $36 in fines were placed on her tab, but that wasn’t all. In true fashion for the Land of the Free, she was handcuffed and booked into jail in front of her five kids who ranged in the age from 1 to 10.

The children are probably all currently seeing psychiatrists. Over a library book.

3. Man Serves 30 Days For Collecting Rainwater

Apparently the US government is God and owns the rainwater or else collecting it on your own property wouldn’t be considered stealing. And you wouldn’t go to jail for this ancient practice. But, alas, Gary Harrington was sentenced to 30 days for doing just that. Gary had tried to apply for permits but he was repeatedly denied because he is a slave and not a creature of the state (which is what “corporations” are anyway.)

4. Woman Serves Two Days For Not Deleting Facebook Account

Paula Asher made a Facebook status update: “My dumb ass got a DUI and I hit a car … LOL!”

The judge caught wind of her public self-shaming he ordered Paula delete her Facebook account. When she did not? The judge ordered she serve two days behind bars…

So by posting stupid comments on Facebook (in the eyes of a man who wears a black dress and throws people in cages) you might be thrown in jail. Sooo…That definitely includes me. How about you?

5. 18-Month Sentence For Soldier Having A Gun

Ok, so this one did not take place in the US but it certainly doesn’t hurt my point…

Danny Nightingale, a respected and decorated soldier in the SAS, an elite branch of the British Air Force, received a Glock 9MM pistol in Afghanistan by the Iraqi government, as a “trophy” for assisting in the training of Iraqi soldiers.

In 2012 Nightingale was sentenced to 18 months in a military prison for possessing the gun since soldiers cannot have guns in their homes under British Law. He served three weeks.

6. Four Months Served On Baseless Suspicion Of Being An Illegal Immigrant

In Arizona “Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhood Act” is a license to throw you in jail. This is so well-known that the act is referred to colloquially as the “Show Me Your Papers” act. When Briseira Torres didn’t have them handy when asked she went on to served four months on suspicion of being an undocumented immigrant.

She had a birth certificates and the charges were dropped “without prejudice.”

7. Six Italian Scientists Serve Six Years For Failing To Predict An Earthquake

Six Italian scientists were sentenced to six years in prison for involuntary manslaughter. They failed to accurately predict the location and scale of the L’Aquila earthquake.

Lucky for Italians, their government REALLY cares about keeping them safe. Too bad, if you’re in Italy, you’re considered a money launderer.

8. Send Kids To Wrong School District Serve Ten Days

When Ohio mother Kelley Williams-Bolar sent her kids to the wrong school district, she was committing a massive crime. Who was she to think she had control over who brainwashed her children? By this point in the article surely you see what governments do with such uppity people…

She wanted her kids to go to Copley, a nice school. What’s more, half the time she lived within Copley’s boundaries. But for this fib she was thrown into jail for ten days after a lengthy trial.

The judge “felt that some punishment or deterrent was needed for other individuals who might think to defraud the various school districts.”

9. Student Serves 56 Days For Tweeting Too Stupidly

21-year-old Liam Stacey tweeted some crude stuff after a footballer at his school suffered a heart attack during a game. Liam made fun of him on Twitter. Twitter banned him; University suspended him; and the state sent him to jail for 56 days.

He was jailed for “inciting racial hatred.” His Tweet?

“Haha, that black guy had a heart attack.”

10. Mathew McConaughey Drum Circle Goes Awry

Not even celebrities are immune.

In 1999, Matthew McConaughey’s neighbor called the cops on him to report loud music booming from the famous actor’s home. According to The Smoking Gun, when the police arrived, they found McConaughey naked, stoned, and playing his bongo drums. The actor was arrested on charges of marijuana possession and drug paraphernalia.

Want to know where on Earth to go to escape the prisonhouses? Well, it isn’t easy to determine:

The Dollar Vigilante (TDV) has the inside scoop on many countries across the planet. With information provided by our eyes and ears on the ground, we have been keeping our readers up-to-date on up-and-coming markets for nearly five years. 

[Editor's Note: Why get locked up for no reason? In the TDV Newsletter we go over the numerous ways to safeguard yourself against the police state.]

Any stupid arrest stories? Join us at The Dollar Vigilante and share them in our comments section!