Libertarian Loneliness: Why Libertarians Have Problems Hooking Up

[The following post is by TDV Chief Editor, Jeff Berwick]

Our main focus here at The Dollar Vigilante (TDV) is The End Of The Monetary System As We Know It (TEOTMSAWKI).

However, being an anarcho-capitalist based blog we also touch, from time to time, on other topics related to freedom.  As well, there are a number of things needed to survive TEOTMSAWKI and one of them is happiness… because if you are miserable, even if you do survive, you won’t enjoy it.

One of the biggest causes of unhappiness in the libertarian movement today is loneliness.

Recently, there have been two fun articles written called, “Seven Reasons Libertarian Men Make The Perfect Boyfriends” and “Seven Reasons Libertarian Women Make Amazing Girlfriends“.

Both articles are worth the read and bring up some great points on why libertarians “should” be excellent mates.

However, if my Facebook wall is any indication, libertarians seem to have a really hard time hooking up.

I’ve seen countless posts from men complaining how hard it is to find a libertarian girlfriend.  And, on the other side, I’ve seen numerous libertarian women also stating the same.

Clearly something is wrong when both the men and women feel this way (this can also apply to LBGT as well).

Here are my thoughts on the problems.

MEN

Having 44 years as a male human I have quite a few insights into what works and what doesn’t.

First, and foremost, if you are not in shape, GET IN SHAPE.  This is not hard at all and the easiest way to change your attractiveness level.  This doesn’t mean you have to become Arnold Shwarzenegger (although that wouldn’t hurt at all), it means, if you are quite fat or incredibly skinny, do something about it.

If you are overweight, try different diets.  Many different ones work in terms of reshaping your body.  As example, when I had put on a bit too much weight once I tried the Atkins diet (no carbs, essentially) for about three months.  As with everything I do, I did it to the extreme and actually had gotten myself down to nearly zero percent body fat.

I dropped about 40 pounds of fat in a few months.  I mostly did it as an experiment… but it just goes to show what you can do if you want to.

Then there are things like steroids.  When I was 21, and still a virgin for obvious reasons (see photo below) I decided I had had enough of being a virgin and despite going to the gym every day I couldn’t put on any muscle gain.

So, I did steroids.  Two months later I looked like this.

Steroids have all kinds of positives and negatives so you should definitely do your research.  But, again, this just goes to show how quickly you can transform your body.  I gained forty pounds in two months and went from being the weakest guy in the gym to the strongest in that time period.

Once you have your body looking good then turn to other features about yourself that can be improved.  As example, I got Lasik eye surgery so I didn’t need glasses anymore soon after that and I had a large mole on my face removed.

So, very quickly, I had gone from very physically unattractive to reasonably physically attractive and ANYONE can do this.

That is just the first step, however.

To finish off with physical things, before we get to the more important things, dress well!  This doesn’t mean you have to be wearing tuxedoes everywhere you go like Jeffrey Tucker and look like you walked out of a fashion magazine (although that can work too, as Jeffrey shows!).

It just means finding something relatively fashionable and well fitting.  The easiest way to do this is to find a female to go shopping with you.  I know, it’s painful.  Most guys hate to shop, but it is worth a few hours, believe me.

I discovered this decades ago and for a period of time I found one woman who ran a fairly exclusive store and I would go in once a year and she would throw 5-10 things on me.  She was an expert who new style and fit and she knew exactly what would work for my bodystyle and lifestyle.  Since then, I just got my girlfriends or now, my wife, to buy all my clothes for me.  They actually love it.  Women love to shop, from what I can tell, and they will spend all day finding you the best clothes to make them feel proud to stand beside you.

Once you have your body and clothes sorted then we can get on to the most important part about being attractive to women.

You have to DO something and be PASSIONATE about something.  If you work at the mall and come home and smoke weed and play video games you are not doing anything and certainly aren’t passionate about anything important.

You probably don’t even like yourself if you do that… so why would anyone else?

Find your true passion and just get out there and do it.  It doesn’t even matter if you fail (in fact your failures will make you into a stronger/better person through the experience).

If any of the above is a problem for you to do then you have mental/emotional issues (we all do) which are holding you back and you need to focus on those.  Focus on finding out your own issues and work on repairing them.  If you are shy then find out why and work on fixing it.  When I was in my teens I was so shy that I couldn’t talk to anyone.  I decided that I needed to fix that and I decided to become a rapper to force myself to go on stage and interact.  I failed as a rapper, only becoming the #2 white rapper in Canada in the 1980s but I had rid myself of most of my shyness through the process.

If you can achieve some or all of the above you will find that women will come to you, instead of vice-versa.

Oh, and no matter what you do, do not go on Facebook and whine and complain that you can’t find women. Nobody finds that attractive.

WOMEN

Not being a woman I will keep this very short.  But, I have known many women in my life who complain that they just can’t seem to attract the kind of man they want.

Here is a short but crucial tip.  You attract things due to your energy.  If you are constantly attracting scumbags over an extended period of time then you are giving off the wrong energy.

Worse, though, when I try to point this out to some women they get very angry at me for having said they are not perfect as they are.  This should be the opposite response that they should give if what they truly want is to find a happy relationship.  That response shows, in a way, that they are not willing to improve themselves and many, in my estimation, seek a certain satisfaction and comfort in their unhappiness.  They’d rather cry with their girlfriends all night and eat chocolate and complain about men rather than look inward to find out what it is they are doing wrong to attract the wrong people into their lives.

This is the most important factor I see in female unhappiness.

Of course, everything I said above for men applies for women as well.  If you are overweight then fix it. Although, a woman with a few extra pounds is not unattractive to most males.  But, women constantly obsess about it, which makes them more unattractive.  If you are not happy with yourself why do you think others would be?

If you are dramatically overweight, however, then fix that.  If you are 100 pounds overweight you don’t need to get down to being a bikini model… it may not even be possible.  But if you can get down to a healthy weight, even if it is 20-30 pounds of fat still, you will be far more attractive to others.

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE

You may be a woman in your 50s who is unhappy.  Or a man in your 60s who is lonely and unhappy.  Snap out of it.  Change it.

I’ve known men in their 80s who have beautiful middle aged women fawning over them due to their passion and style.  And there are now women in their 60s and 70s who are still very attractive.

Look at these people.  This man is 70 years old.

Or Morgan Fairchild, at 65.

It is never too late.  If you blame the opposite sex for your problems you already have lost.  Everything that happens to you is your own fault.  Can’t find decent men?  You are giving off the wrong energy, haven’t worked on yourself enough or are looking in the wrong places.  Fix that.

Can’t get the women you desire?  Same answer.

Just because we are libertarians or anarcho-capitalists doesn’t mean we are perfect.  We are still human beings. We may be more philosophically and morally sound than most others but that doesn’t mean we don’t all need to improve ourselves.

Make yourself into the person you want to be and the world will come to you.  It isn’t even that difficult, you just have to do it.

Even if we eventually reach our goal of a free and prosperous world, if you have not worked on yourself and are still lonely then you won’t be happy and fulfilled.  It all starts with you.

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