Chapter 42: How to Deal with a 21st Century Woman--Split the bill, share the bed, save for counseling

By Frosty Wooldridge

          Since we’re into the 21^st century, you have different options facing you­ in your relationships with women. 

          Single or married, you still have to deal with new­ expectations of equality.  It could get dicey when most women­ still expect the traditional ways of chivalry–you asking for the­ first date, using your car, opening the door for them, standing ­when they come to the table, paying the dinner tab, you asking ­them to dance, you initiating the first hug, kissing their hand­ before you kiss their derriere (not politically correct, but hey,­ let’s face it, we do anything for a woman just to get to the ­promised land)–yet they want us to treat them as equals.

          If you find a woman who likes it equal and then switches to ­unequal to suit her whims, you need a conversation with her to­ determine the extent of her orientation.

          We had one friend named Gene who was a doctor.  At 40, he ­was single, but looking for a wife.  (He thought twin boys would­ make his life complete.)  He wore tailored shirts and drove a new ­car.  At a fish fry he met Nancy.  She wore tailored dresses and­ carried that “Cindy Crawford style” about her. (Unknown to him, she was much like Cindy Crawford and her parents were helping pay for her­ stylish clothes.)  She was looking for a prince with a full bank­ account to take over for her parents.  She possessed the full ­range of attractions for a deserving male…Victoria Secret’s­ finest satin under-things, a Cosmo cover girl cleavage, Purt ­bouncy hair shampoo, Cindy Crawford’s non-smear lipstick, elegant ­lashes by Cody, Leggs finest ‘no line’ pantyhose, and fire engine ­red nails by Revlon.

          Gene struck up a conversation.  They danced.  He gave her ­his card.  She called.  They dated.  He kept pulling out his ­wallet.  They made love.  He paid for dinners.  She was falling ­in love.  He fell into lust.  He paid.  She said, “Thank you.” ­He fell in love.  Soon, wedding bells.  She said she was in debt ­from her wardrobe chasing…”Since we’re getting married, could­ you help me….” He kept paying money for every frivolous thing­ she wanted.  After the engagement pictures came out, she wanted ­more unnecessary things.  He stopped in his tracks and scratched ­his chin, “What’s wrong with this picture?”

          Did love conquer all?  Not that time.  He kept pulling his ­wallet out and she kept spending his money.  As it got more out ­of hand, he became disgruntled, and angry.  He realized that he would ­be paying for the rest of his life.  The doctor opted out.

          Good move.

          Whenever you see a woman coming at you with conflicting­ orientations, it’s up to you to make rational decisions based on­ your experiences with that woman.  Had our friend Gene continued ­with his wedding, he most likely would have paid for the­ counseling sessions, divorce, child support, alimony, etc.  Be­ smart and check it out before making commitments.  Use your 18 to 24-­month courtship period to make solid life decisions.

          On the other side, there are men who want to pay for their ­women.  If you’re the type that doesn’t want your woman to work, ­or you want her to be a full time mother, fine.  You need to ­understand that aspect of your needs.  Many combinations of women exist from which you may choose.  Your key is to choose a­ situation that you like and one that fits your paradigm.