Retro Rose’s Myth: How an Herbalist Came About

It all started in Hainan Island. It’s where everything happened. In Hainan Island it was all about sun, parties, Shirley temples, and more parties. It was the ultimate place to go. It was the hot spot. Everyone on this wonderful island was friends. We all were like family. This place was the ultimate dream for a man and a woman. There were beautiful women everywhere in site it was almost like a constant feeling of a toned down heart attack every time I stepped outside. For the women there was me…the most attractive man on earth. Like I said before it was a dream. It’s not only for vibrant young people it’s also the kind of place for the older folks. Hainan Island was very much a constant party pad, but the old folks needed their space. We got it and we understood. The island officials decided to make a proposal to make half of the island specifically for families and older folks so they could have their solitude. Thankfully, we still got our own side of our wild and craziness. So, that was that.

The next morning I woke up early like every other day and made my favorite dish for breakfast, Lemon Lava Rain Noodles and pinkberries. After that, I brushed my teeth, combed my hair, and tried to find my lady attractor aka my very expensive and groovy cologne. Now that I found it I go for my daily run around are portion of the island. I’m hoping to pass Lola on my daily run. Lola is my best friend. Every morning she does this weird thing and sits in front of the ocean on the sand and hums a lot. She says it’s called meditating and that it helps clear your conscious and makes you feel particularly happy. To me, I think it will result in human boredom. Anyways, I wanted to see Lola, so I could tell her last night at one of our longest and biggest parties of all time that Harrison, my other best bud, started freaking out. Harrison came up to me and said he was having all these dreams about the older folks getting super sick and starting to die. I told Harrison it was no big deal and some people actually have nightmares even if they live in an amazing place like this. Harrison kept rambling on how he’s had the same dream for three months every week on Friday. He feels like it’s definitely a sign. To calm Harrison down I go and get him some Shirley temples. An hour later Harrison and I grow tired and we decide to go crash at my house for tonight. Here I am on my usual routine waiting for Lola to hurry up with her yippee little humming session. I get tired of waiting for her so I walk home and grab some more delicious pinkberries.

I started to read my favorite book for the hundredth time, Blade, the Slayer of Boredom, right when I get to the last page a huge wind gushes through my window. I thought a hurricane could be coming so I dash to Lola’s house, find her, and we meet the whole town in the Hurricane Shelter Loft. Unfortunately, it was so bad the vibrant “ young ins” like ourselves couldn’t check on how the other side of the island was doing but we were sure they were okay because we knew they had twice as many shelter houses than we did. After three hours of waiting in the shelter we can finally leave. Our side of the island is a little wrecked with a couple of Ziggy trees down but besides that everything was crystal clear. Everyone decided to go check on the other side of the island to see if everything is okay. Helix, the master for our side of the island, enters the gate code and opens the gate to let us in the other side of the island. Everyone expected everything it to be fine. When we were all weren’t separated before, the entire island was sealed, protected, and safe-proofed for all of our belongings for something like this. It ended up that the whole other half was destroyed and all the old folks were very sick. Also, most of the sand was swept away and all of it went to our side off the island. There was only this dark grey thin layer of land left where the sand was. I thought to myself Harrison was right! Everyone started to clean up and helped carry the old folks to the shelters to help them recover.

Days passed by and none of the old folks were getting any better. It was a tragedy to all of us. Suddenly, Harrison comes up to me again and says he had a dream that the earth would be talking to him tomorrow, on Friday at 5A.M. (the time I wake up).I told Harrison he’s crazier than a Salmon without a route. Sure enough that day at 4:50 A.M. I’m still very skeptical on if what Harrison is telling me is the truth, so I head out for my morning run and instead of searching for Lola I head to Harrison’s house. When I get their Harrison isn’t there, so I go back to the beach to find Lola, she ends up not being there, but Harrison is and I couldn’t believe what I saw. Harrison was sitting on the sand and all the animals were gathered around him, trees were bent near him, and this big bright light was telling him “You have a wonderful heart. You have a sincere soul. I have given you the gift of healing from the natural goodness of the earth.” Harrison didn’t even look alarmed or frightened. He just slightly smiled and asked the light “How will I know what to use” the light replied “The healing is within the earth, the soul, and in the sand.” Then the light disappeared. Harrison saw me and turned to me staring at me for the longest time not saying anything. Then I finally said, that was so cool! Are you the next Blade or what! Harrison replied Oh yes indeed, oh yes I am indeed. At least I hope so. Harrison and I decided to keep it a secret just in case people might think were crazy. Later, we decided to go back to my place and ponder on what we just saw, witnessed, and felt. Harrison started searching and studying the island as much as possible after the incident so he could find the answers to his healing powers.

After a month of searching, studying and his constant state of frustration he finally realized that all the sand on our side of the island was making us stay younger and healthier. It was all about the sand. Harrison found that the sand had hidden elements like essential oils and particles inside it that were anti-aging and that every time we touched it with our feet or our bodies it was sending it through our feet into our bodies and keeping us healthy, young, and vibrant. Harrison later called that “grounding.” Harrison decided for the old folks to come live on our side of the island and to sleep on the sand for one night. They thought we were nuts, but we bribed them with pinkberries and Shirley temples, so they fell for it. The next morning the old folks weren’t old anymore and the old women were actually super attractive. This sand rocks! Harrison said the “light” was right. The “grounding” affect worked and we got everyone back to a  healthy state.

Harrison ended up studying the plants, sand, and the earth a lot better throughout the years. He found many particles, essential oils, and herbs that were good use for our health. Harrison was the very first herbalist. It was a gift given to him and now one of his biggest interests. He intended to use his gift to full advantage and give up his partying lifestyle to constantly study more about the earth. Harrison lived to be two hundred fifty years old and he died a very happy, smart, and generous man. He died in his garden peacefully with his personal herb journal in his hand. I found him like this and it had a note inside the cover saying

“Publish this. So the world will be aware of its great endeavors within the earth. Love you man! I’ll save you some pinkberries up here.”

Sincerely,

Harrison.