The Russian Hacking Tale: All Sizzle, No Steak

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: Last week, Central Intelligence Agency officials presented lawmakers with a stunning new judgment that upended the debate.

Analysis: “Stunning,” eh? — “upended the debate,” eh? Those are mighty strong words. But you two ass-clowns still haven’t described the nature of this “overwhelming” and “stunning” evidence that so “upended the debate”. How do “youse guys” know that it is so “stunning” if you aren’t actually privy to it? Sizzle sizzle, but still no steak.

“Overwhelming” — “stunning” — “upended the debate” — sounds good, yet still no steak.

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: Russia, they said, had intervened with the primary aim of helping make Donald J. Trump president.

Analysis:  “they said,” — again, tells us nothing. We don’t care what “they say.” In fact, we still don’t even know who “they” even are! We want to see what the “overwhelming” and “stunning” evidence says. Stop with the sizzle and bring us the steak!

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: The C.I.A.’s conclusion ….. was an analysis of what many believe is overwhelming circumstantial evidence —

Analysis: “many believe.” — There “youse guys” go again! We don’t care about the “many” and nor are we impressed by the word “belief.” Tell us what “youse guys” actually KNOW!

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: … evidence that others feel does not support firm judgments

Analysis:  “others feel does not support firm judgments” — Ah! A tiny little truth gem slipped in to give the appearance of objectivity. So, there are “others” in the intelligence community who do not buy this tale. Interesting. But didn”t “youse guys” just say that the intelligence gencies “were united in the belief?”  … Hmmm? Gotcha!

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: — that the Russians put a thumb on the scale for Mr. Trump, and got their desired outcome.

Analysis: Even if the Russians did “put a thumb on the scale for Mr. Trump,” — the entirety of the “mainstream media” put their collective bodies on the scale for Killary! Why is that not considered to be a scandal?

CNN — the same network that fed Killary debate questions in advance — uses camera effects to literally made Killary glow like a saint. Meanwhile, the whole Piranha Press attacked Orange Man 24/7. That was the real scandal to tilt the election — not “Russian influence.”

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: Mr. Trump’s response has been to dismiss the reports by citing another famous intelligence assessment — the botched 2002 conclusion that the Iraqi leader, Saddam Hussein, had weapons of mass destruction —

“I think it’s ridiculous. I think it’s just another excuse. I don’t believe it,” Mr. Trump said on Sunday in an interview on Fox News.

Analysis: Hard to argue with Trump’s logic there.

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: Yet there is a loud chorus of bipartisan voices, including Senator John McCain, Republican of Arizona, going public to accuse the Russians of election interference.

Analysis: Ah! A “yeah but” to offset Trump’s observation. And of course, the devious duo cites every libtard’s favorite Republican’t, John McCain the Insane, to support their deceitful journalism. 

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: American intelligence officials believe that Russia also penetrated databases housing Republican National Committee data, but chose to release documents only on the Democrats. The committee has denied that it was hacked.

Analysis:  If the RNC denies that it was even hacked, then doesn’t that discredit these “American intelligence officials” and their other “beliefs” as well?

Unseen CIA source to Slimes newspaper man:

“Pssst. The ‘mountain of evidence’ is ‘top secret’ — but trust me. It really does exist, and boy-oh-boy is it ‘stunning’ and ‘overwhelming’ and ‘upending.’”

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: Beyond the specific targets of the hacks, American officials cite broad evidence that Mr. Putin and the Russian government favored Mr. Trump over Mrs. Clinton.

More generally, the Russian government has blamed Mrs. Clinton, along with the C.I.A. and other American officials, for encouraging anti-Russian revolts during the 2003 Rose Revolution in Georgia and the 2004 Orange Revolution in Ukraine.

Analysis: The fact that the Russians preferred Orange Man over Killary speaks only to possible motive. It does not constitute evidence of anything. Just because I often enjoy a glass of red wine with my dinner; that doesn’t in anyway prove that I was the one who shoplifted from the local liquor store last week.

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: Russian television, which is tightly controlled by the government,…

Analysis: Actually, that’s totally false. Russian media is a mixed bag consisting of pro-Putin media and pro-“Atlantacists” who subtly work against Putin.

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: … has generally portrayed Mr. Trump as a strong, friendly potential partner while often airing scathing assessments of Mrs. Clinton.

Analysis: Again, motive does not equate to action — and God forbid if we should step back from World War III and become “friendly” with Russia. Oh horrors!

Mazzetti & Lichtblau: And yet, there is skepticism within the American government, particularly at the F.B.I., that this evidence adds up to proof that the Russians had the specific objective of getting Mr. Trump elected.

Analysis: Another buried truth gem — useful to the astute line-by-line reader, yet lost on the majority of hurried and trusting skim-readers. Evidently, the “mountain of evidence” against Putin does not appear to be all that “overwhelming” and “upending” and “stunning” to the F.B.I. This can only mean that the F.B.I. has been taken over by the K.G.B.

How “stunning” is that? — sizzle, sizzle.

Boobus Americanus 1: I read in the New York Times today that the CIA has accumulated a mountain of overwhelming evidence proving that Russian hackers influenced the election.

Boobus Americanus 2: Stunning. Absoutely stunning.

Sugar: You’re frickin’ sstunned all right, Boobus! As in brain damaged.