Net Services Cut to Those Categorized as ‘Neo-Nazis’ (Satire)

(Natural News) A new “cyber dark ages” has descended upon the internet as Apple, AirBNB, Facebook and other tech companies have decided that Neo-Nazis must be banned from everything. Tech companies are the new “thought police” of America.

“[A]fter matching user names to posts on social-media profiles, [AirBNB] canceled dozens of reservations made by self-identified Nazis who were using its app to find rooms in Charlottesville, where they were heading to protest the removal of a Confederate statue,” reports Bloomberg News.

Uber is now telling drivers “they don’t have to pick up racists;” PayPal is revoking payment services to “sites that promote racial intolerance,” reports Bloomberg; and “Discover Financial Services, the credit card company, said this week that it was ending its agreements with hate groups.”

Neo-Nazis are offensive to every reasonable person, of course, but these actions beg the question: Do “offensive” people no longer have the right to participate in the infrastructure of modern society? And who decides, exactly, which people qualify as the most offensive and deserving of being cut off from the very society in which they live?

That’s why today, I’m calling for all municipal water services to be cut off from all racists, Neo-Nazis and KKK members. Heck, why stop there? Why should electricity services be provided to Nazi sympathizers? Shouldn’t local power companies cut off their electricity, too?

In fact, come to think of it, why stop at just Neo-Nazis? I think that in the name of “inclusiveness” and “tolerance,” water and power services should be completely cut off from those who do not worship transgenderism, praise Black Lives Matter and donate 10% of their paychecks to the Southern Poverty Law Center. And Amazon should cut off Prime memberships to Neo-Nazis, too, just to make sure they can’t watch free movies and stuff. (Come to think of it, how many Nazi supporters are also Netflix members? Gosh, Netflix should really cut off those sh#theads and make sure they can’t watch movies.)

In fact, let’s just be honest here. All Republicans, conservatives, Trump supporters and gun owners should frankly be denied the right to oxygen. Breathing should be criminalized for those who do not wholeheartedly agree with toppling all “offensive” statues, defacing Mount Rushmore, worshiping Obama and nullifying the 2016 president election. In fact, if you aren’t gay, transgender, lesbian, queer or “gender fluid,” you really have no right to exist at all. I mean, that’s where this is going, right?

Sewer services should also be cut off from all Trump supporters so they have to live in their own sh#t. And all gas stations should deny gasoline to anyone whose vehicle doesn’t carry a rainbow pride bumper sticker. In fact, let’s just ban use of all highways to anyone who isn’t a Leftist. Why should conservatives have the right to use public roads paid by “progressive” taxpayers, anyway?

F#ck it, let’s go all out here. All counties across America should deny “racists” the right to own private property. Why should “intolerant” people be allowed the right to own a home, anyway? After all, they might use private homes to hold “KKK” meetings or Bible study or something. This has got to stop! I say all county clerks should go through all the photographs of people who participated in Neo-Nazi rallies of any kind, and then seize their property. Hell yeah. That should finally achieve “peace” for our nation, right?

But then, why stop there? Let’s just burn down all the white neighborhoods just to be sure we get all the “racists.” Ban all credit cards for conservatives, then ban their cash, too, just to make sure they can’t actually buy anything. While we’re at it, let’s all just deny white people any right to work at any job whatsoever, making sure they can’t earn the cash to buy cars that they might use as ramming vehicles. And then deny food stamps for all White people, too, because why should obvious racists have the right to eat?

Oh, come to think of it, we should also ban white people from owning all cars, because those are weapons, too. From now on, all cars can only be driven by people of color. That’s how we finally achieve fairness, justice and equality, you see.

Once we ban all the water, electricity, oxygen, food, private property, internet access, money and jobs of all White people — and burn down their homes, post-birth abort their babies and silence their voices — we can all finally live in peace and tranquility in our new society rooted in “justice” and “equality.” Right? …Right?

Click here for the rest of this satire commentary on the incredible degree of totalitarianism and stupidity that has now descended upon our society.