Today is 6th October 1959

Today is 6th October 1959 because I woke up this morning and felt that I identified as a new born baby. So sorry Mum, you’ve just been through that long and painful labour I put you through all those years ago all over again. Let’s face it everything associated with labour is long and painful. OK that was a corny old attempt at political humour, but give me a break, I am only a few hours old.

Something must have triggered this identifying as a newborn. Maybe it was that poor old Maths teacher who is being disciplined for referring to a girl in his class as a girl. She’s decided to identify as a lad you see but the school, rather than telling the girl she’s actually Harriet rather than Harry and to stop being silly, suspended the teacher for saying “well done girls” to a group of girls not remembering or caring that Harriet wanted to be Harry that day.

Then again, it may have been triggered by the Church of England deciding that we should respect lads who turn up to school wearing tutus and tiaras. They also urge us to respect whichever gender people identify with. So if 20 stone trucker Shawn decides to pull on a wig, a little black number and a pair of stilletoes remember to call him Sian, otherwise you might be in the shit with the Archbishop. Maybe it has something to do with the C of E’s Chief Education Officer being called Nigel Genders. Or is it Nigella today? Not sure.

Then there are the ones who go the whole hog and have their bits lopped off so that they believe that they are actually women. Well sorry but I think the record number of people seeking reversal after sex changes suggests it is a huge mistake and shouldn’t really be encouraged. Which leads me very nicely to: