Coping with a heatwave

1. Leave all upstairs windows open when you go to bed.
2. When you wake up bathed in sweat at some ungodly hour in the morning, open the curtains and windows downstairs as well.
3. When you finally get up and go downstairs, open front and back doors.
4. Check every hour or so whether it’s now warmer outside than inside.
5. As soon as it is (about 10.30 am), close all doors, windows and curtains again.
6. Remain indoors until it’s bearable outside (5 or 6 in the afternoon). Apply sun cream before venturing into the garden, the shops, the pub etc, remaining in the shade where possible.
7. Drink plenty of fluids. Don’t forget that your body cannot synthesise its own alcohol and you need regular supplements!
8. Open all windows, curtains and back door in the afternoon/evening, front door optional.
9. Shut downstairs windows and doors when you go to bed, because burglars, stray cats etc.