Saturday Smile

Introducing ‘Slogcoach’

The Everyman guide to useless claptrap that was bloody obvious anyway

Always try to remember that….

Boredem is a Nomad on a very small desert island
Love is blind to everything except big knockers and a cute butt
Patience is a virtue because every kettle boils in the end
Cleanliness is next to Godolphin’s laundromat two doors down from Tesco
He who laughs last didn’t get the joke at first
The early bird catches the worm. Better to be late and not have to eat worms
Words speak louder than actions if you yell a lot
A picture is worth a thousand words, or a million bucks if painted by Hockney
All good things come to an end, and thus Henry Kissinger is eternal
Always judge a book by the time you get to the back cover
Every journey ends with the last step
You can drag a blood corpuscle to water but you can’t make it drink because blood
is thicker than water
One egg in the basket is worth two silver linings in cloud cuckoo land
A man who is tired of London has never been to Walsall
When in Rome, don’t annoy your Caligulas before they hatch
Duplicity is the father of diplomacy, so triplicity is the best policy
When the hot milk is spilt, don’t cry over the ironing board
Laughter is the best medicine, especially when the vaccine contains mRNA
No money falls from the tree branches because money is only the root of all evil
When birds of a feather flock together, familiarity breeds chicks
Beauty is in the taste of a doughnut, not the hole. Review your glasses prescription regularly
Where there’s a Will there’s an argument

Amaze your friends at supper parties as you choose one of the above and adopt a face that goes with it below!

Oh so coooool young Dee-Jay Groover

(Below left)

Smug, empty ”Yes we can” Man

Manson nutjob crazy cult I am the Lord Thy God

Man weighing less than a hollow gram

Help, I am a prisoner in a big White building surrounded by young men with crew cuts and

I am only obeying orders, another biggy is coming so order your mask, jab, booster and funeral plot now.

Now that Kennedy kid has dived overboard, fuck knows what we’re gonna do, so believe me, patronising self help books are underrated, buy one today from Hunter’s Marching Powder Press, price just $2,506 + sales tax + shipping + my cut.

The one and only unique limited Gambian edition BIASOMETER available inclusively from SinoSlog PRC Plastic Industries (Brufut) Limited

[ a Politbungalow Diversity Group Company]

Proven to sniff out every last fib and smear, The SinoSlog Biasometer uses the advanced 3,000 point ultra-sensitive pixiedust high resolution double-digital 783 Gigasoundbite BS detector to instantly recognise Groupthink and split infinitives.

To take some examples hot off the presses, this was today’s NBC news intro to RFK Jr’s decision to dump the Democratic Party on the grounds of insanity:

‘Longshot Democratic presidential candidate and conspiracy theorist Robert F. Kennedy Jr. talked to NBC News Correspondent Ali Vitali’

The Biasometer gave that intro a 2,998.9 score on the IABATO* index, one of the highest ever recorded, causing Chinese psy-op expert Mai Rong Kok to quip that, ”Aaah dissa score crose to Marco Poro on ah de steloids”.

* It’s All Bollocks And That’s Official

Just so we’re clear about this, Bobby Jr’s decision merely confirms for me that he is totally unlike either his uncle or father: he will not dilute his principles in a bid for Power at any Price. Obscure as this may seem, his decision reminds of the great David Low cartoon of 1940 after the ignominious collapse of the French:

This site – for what it’s worth – is now whole heartedly in support of Robert F Kennedy Jr. His Go-it-Alone decision is final proof that the DNC represents everything bad in US politics. May whatever lies behind the organisation of the Metaverse smile upon his courage.

He and Trump are the only Americans that stand between prosperous survival and genocidal dystopia.

Getting on a bit, bored with exhortation that rarely strikes a nerve and tired both of avoiding blatant, fraudulent censorship and doing all his own Slogpost merchandising, John Ward is scoping out a novel about the future in a bid to change minds and earn money. Normal service may therefore be abnormal for a month or two; what it won’t be is New Normal