Unfit for Purpose

People in our professions no longer do the job for which they are qualified, because that job has been rendered impossible to do for a variety of social, economic, geopolitical and politically correct reasons. By turns, this can be irritating, illiberal, unreasonable and also, now and then, amusing.

A bonfire of the Inanities

I have tried hard during more than twenty years of commentary upon the Twenty-first century to avoid what is known as ”chasing hits” – that is, engaging in dubious sensationalism to ”keep the numbers up”.

The discipline I applied to myself (for better or worse) was simply to accept that any form of monetisation in relation to The Slog was a non-starter. Forty years in the media business had taught me a simple lesson: once one’s value is to be judged solely by cost per thousand readers, sooner rather than later the threat of lost advertiser revenue makes the editorial content a potential prisoner of what the commercial and/or State Establishment wants its electorate to believe.

The behaviour of the mainstream media throughout the Covid caper, black vaccination lies and Ukrainian bioweapon cover-up from 2021 to the present speaks for itself: historically, advertisers very rarely tried to flex their interest-muscles in such a manner. In 2023, that kind of behaviour is so accepted, we have the emergence of a propagandist euphemism camouflaged (and accepted) that calls itself ‘sponsored content’. Worse still, blatant agitprop doesn’t offer any guide to the ”information consumer” at all.

However, another element then emerged: it wasn’t enough that New World Order fanatics had – via Bourse-based mega investments – a Thuggy stranglehold on the MSM; they next put the screws on social media to ensure maximisation of censorship, and minimalised fulfilment of their duty as promised to copy one’s followers on all published posts. It became known as ‘shadow banning’….yet another euphemism for contractual fraud.

Now, I would argue that there is a far more broadly-based trend existent in our Western cultures than might be suggested by the above….and it is this: those employed in large corporations involving myriad professions – and I emphasise that last plural quite deliberately – no longer even try to do what their professional title says they should do.

In turn, this reality produces both anger and amusement.

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For several decades now, white collar professionals have been engaged in the process of redefining their job function in a way that makes them both less accountable, or saves them from ‘difficult’ sorts of hassle – or in some way promotes their life ideology….what Hitler called his Weltanschauung.

Were you to arrive on Earth fresh from the planet Bunglob and watch the average Mr Plod at work in London today, you would assume he was roughly the equivalent of the Notaire in France – that’s to say, a tax collector with a somewhat wooden grasp of the law and a fair dollop of pomposity to go with it.

The idea that he might get involved in chasing a pickpocket or lowering himself to the vulgar task of dealing with an affray reflects the fact that today, the average pc sees his job primarily as being a dedicated follower of pc fashion, as opposed to a collar-feeler of the villains at large on our streets. A bit social worker….and more than a tad Gestapo.

Plod now knocks on doors and announces that a complaint of racism, sexism, realism, optimism and for all I know baptism has been made against the homeowner. (If the new Energy Bill goes through unamended, citizens will also be asked if they have any scepticism to express about Climate Change, and if they reply in the affirmative, their feet will not touch the ground while being banged up at Charles III’s pleasure, squire).

Teachers used to be there to get the maximum ”out of” every pupil and student and invite them to question received truths in the never-ending journey to learn more and more about science, society, music, humour and grammar. Now they see their job as the ruthless promotion of contemporary liberal values….or what previous generations called lockstep totalitarian fascism – viz, unexplained 15-45 year old excess deaths are a myth, or if not, a baffling syndrome which has nothing to do with mRNA bioweapon drugs; Climate change is a real and present something or other about to boil our heads because we introduced models as a replacement for Antarctic ice-depth samples and therefore several to nine is at risk and we must follow the science and never under any circumstances come face to face with it, I mean it’s obvious isn’t it, the overwhelming majority of scientific opinion accepts it, so eat cotton because eight zillion boll weevils can’t be wrong.

On and on it goes: bankers used to lend to entrepreneurial small capitalism, now they wreck Government strategies they don’t like and bankroll monopolies in a surreal form of neoliberal Communism. Philanthropists once upon a time did good works, now they befriend paedophiles, kill Third World people and spend billions to convince us that Viktor Orban is a deadly dissident who must be stopped before he ruins the cushy time Brussels is having at the expense of EU subjects, sorry, I meant to say citizens. UK Prime Ministers used to lead…now they herd us back towards the Eutanic, insisting as they do that we’re rowing like billy-oh in the other direction.

Doctors used to have a healing need….a calling if you will. Now they hear a voice calling ”Do as you’re told or be struck off” and so they accept the alchemy of Hancock, Fauci, Pfizer, Von der Leyen et al, and go with the flow of thinly disguised excretions where real science should be.

Journalists used to reveal and hold to account. Now they work for the Ministry of Truth.

Judges fall into line at every level; US Democrat voters accept the same demand for zipped mouths as those demanded by the Nazis after 1934; accountants sign off profit statements they know to be mendacious; senior civil servants routinely subvert policies promised to the electorate.

All in all, the laughably described ”professional”classes have an Everest of sins to answer for.

But even here, there is something to amuse us in order to stave off the onset of acute depression.

THE ARTISAN’S REVOLT

Delving into the now infamous Crystal Slogball, various entries dating from 2037 record some key events as follows:

‘Speculative young executives’ homes builder Albert Buttock decided he was tired of constructing ticky-tacky bungalows, and vowed to relaunch himself as a designer of custom built houses for keen gardeners. Thus was the layout of Foreweal Drive in suburban Walsall forever altered by homes with grass roofing, treetop bedrooms for bedding plants, four ensuite greenhouses and a plastic gnome watering the box on every window ledge. Mowing the lawn would cease to be a tedious chore, and become instead more life enriching, not to say incredibly life-threatening. But Sir Allenby Blackrock (as he later became) was a key figure in the defining 21^st century trend of becoming bored with one’s lot, choosing instead to be a blue, blithering, bloody nuisance of no purpose whatsoever….’

‘Master plumber par excellence Rodney Anode-Brown became celebrated for the fusion he pioneered between the Backwater Valve and Branch Vents while working with his original partner in the Ballcock & Brown Water Solutions Consultancy. However, life in a backwater was never going to be enough for Rod, and in 2042 he patented a process for converting drinking water into sea water as a means of raising sea levels and halting the decline in fish stocks. The craze quickly caught on among ecologists, and Rod was knighted for his services to food supply, becoming Barren Brain of Netherhopping. But soon after being described by the centenarian Charles III as ‘the greatest genius alive today’, there was an outbreak of mass human dehydration. Guardian writers, government advisors, health bureaucrats, CNN and the BBC all declared themselves ”utterly baffled” by the random appearance of Yucky Brine Plague Syndrome until the CIA discovered a massive fiendishly secret operation masterminded by paedophile Sovyet war criminal Rasta-man Putin to smuggle three Gulag salt mines into Surrey, Barcelona and White Plains. Caught red-handed, Putin said, ”It’s a fair cop gov an’ I’ll come quiet like innit?”

‘Melon Tusk was a simple sort of chap – an everyday flakey electrician who was sure he could skin the banks alive with Paypal – but then realised he was outclassed on the dimension of psychopathic commercial shittiness, and so moved on to join the Elmer Gantries bamboozling everyone everywhere into believing that carbon dioxide and nitrous oxide are ”powerful greenhouse gases” that trap the sun’s heat and cause English summers to piss with rain year after year. So he invented electric cars (EVs) to show how they also cause significant emissions, how mining practices deplete communities of their water supplies and harm wildlife, and how the source of electricity used to charge EV batteries is also an issue in the minds of Warmists whose thinking apparatus is disturbed enough to have made Tusk’s persuasion job something of a doddle.

He later went on to put 6 million giant 200 foot tall electrically mega-heated towers into place across the planet to offset the discovery that Planet Earth’s sun was rapidly turning into a Red Dwarf that would within a decade turn into cold, floating cinders – a fitting tribute to unsettled science. (New York Times, 4^th October 2055)

But nihil desperandum, because tomorrow is another day….and all too soon, Planet Earth will be another world.