The Radical Parents Guide to Raising Teens – Sex, Drugs and Teens: Why Just Saying “No” Doesn’t Work!

May 26th, 2017

By Nanice Ellis

Contributing writer for Wake Up World

Regardless of city, state or country, virtually all teens face the temptation of drugs, sex, and rock n roll. You might not be too concerned about the rock and roll, but, if you’re like most parents, the idea of drugs and sex are probably disconcerting.
Mainstream propaganda teaches parents to handle these sensitive issues with a superficial “just say no” approach, but if this black and white strategy worked, wouldn’t there be fewer kids doing drugs, drinking and having sex? Since statistics don’t lie, it’s plain to see that teens participate in mature behaviors whether parents like it or not.

As a New York crisis counselor, I worked with adolescents between the ages of twelve and nineteen. Over the course of seven years, hundreds of teens told me things they were too afraid to tell their parents, and, as a result, I learned about adolescence in ways that traditional education could never provide. I later used this knowledge to successfully raise three sons, and now I’m about to share what I learned (and practiced) with you!

The Age of Exploration: Although most of the world treats adolescence like a disease needing to be cured, adolescence is meant to be a bridge between childhood and adulthood where teens learn how to make age-appropriate choices, navigate responsibilities, and develop independence. Ideally, with this in mind, adolescence should provide the space for self-exploration and self-discovery. Unfortunately, the traditional “just say no” approach to parenting often sabotages these important aspects of adolescence, and, instead of encouraging self-empowerment and independence, many well-meaning parents attempt to restrain teen expression by tracking and controlling behavior.

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Recommended articles by Nanice Ellis:

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• Are You More Awake Than Your Family? 12 Ways to Heal Relationships When Your Family Is Still Asleep
• Why You Should Forgive Your Parents… and How To Do It!

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