How to Successfully Take Care of Your Elderly Live-in Parent

It is one of the most interesting aspects of our lives. Our parents age to a point in which the children must take care of them in a pseudo-parental role. We make sure they eat healthily, take their medications, go to their doctor’s appointments, keep them safe, and even argue with them over bath time. It’s not an easy situation to deal with and many families will put their aging parents in an assisted living facility or buy one of those “granny pods”. For the rest of us, caring for our elderly parent is the only option and we take it on willingly and even blindly. If you have a parent that is showing signs of needing extra care, let’s look at some things you will need to consider.

Save Up Your Vacation Days

Our first piece of advice is to start saving your vacation days. Not that you shouldn’t take any time off, just minimize it a bit and save those extra days for emergencies or post-surgery care. Let’s say Mom had to have sciatic surgery and has been released from the hospital. She is going to need bed rest and plenty of physical therapy. The surgery was just the beginning and it will be impossible to take care of her and work a full-time job. For more severe surgeries, some people may take the Family Medical Leave or opt to become a one-income family. We suggest using vacation days first and crunch numbers during that time to figure out your best plan of action.

Elder-Proof the Home

Just like your parents made the home safe for you as a baby, you will need to make your home safe for your aging parent. If your parent is going to need a wheelchair, this could mean installing ramps and widening doorways. Installing bars around the toilet and in the shower can help them navigate bathing with some privacy. If your aging parent is suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia, security alarms on the home can alert you if they begin wandering out the door in the middle of the night. Ask their doctor about their needs and take it step by step. You won’t necessarily need to revamp your entire home, rather a few minor changes here and there as they grow older is very likely.

Have a Support Team

For anyone to be successful at taking care of the aging parent, you need support. Be honest about your needs. There is nothing wrong with needing someone to come sit with Dad while you run to the grocery store. There is nothing wrong with someone coming over and making dinner for you one night a week. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a person come over and let you step out of the house for a movie with your spouse. Too many folks take on the care of an elderly parent and then burn themselves out trying to do it all. It will also have a profound effect on your health and you need to be healthy in order to care for them. What your support team looks like is completely up to you. If you really need a home nurse to visit once a week, get that home nurse. If your siblings are close by or can visit one weekend a month, pull them on to the team to help. Friends and neighbors that you know well can also be a huge help.

Taking care of our elderly parent often feels like a duty when it’s really a privilege. It’s an opportunity to be a great caregiver for the one who took care of you for years. When it becomes their time to pass on, you will appreciate the time you took to care for them.