50 ? 60 ? Heading Toward 70 Get Ready

50 ? 60 ? Heading Toward 70 Get Ready
Tuesday, April 24, 2012 8:33
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Someone had to remind me,
 

so I’m reminding you, too..
Don’t laugh…. It is all true!

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60
And heading towards
70 or beyond!

1.
Kidnappers are not very
interested in you.

2.
In a hostage situation,
you are likely to be released first.

3.
No one expects you to run  –
anywhere.

4.
People call at 9 PM (or 9  A M) and ask,  ‘Did I wake you?

5.
People no longer view you as a
hypochondriac.

6.
There is nothing left
to learn the hard way.

7.
Things you buy now
won’t wear out.

8.
You can eat
supper at 4 PM.

9…
You can live without sex
but not your glasses.

10.
You get into heated arguments
about pension plans.

11.
You no longer think of speed limits   as a challenge.

12.
You quit trying to hold
your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13.
You sing along
with elevator music.

14.
Your eyes won’t get
much worse.

15.
Your investment in health insurance   is finally beginning to pay off.

16.
Your joints are more  accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17.
Your secrets are safe with your friends  because they can’t remember them either.

18.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to  a manageable size.

19.
You can’t remember
who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all
in big print
for your convenience.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:
Never, NEVER, NEVER,
under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!