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My Last Trip To Costco

Saturday, June 23, 2012 0:58
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> It is my goal to be this type of retired person!!!  

 My Last Trip To Costco

 

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
For my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So since I’m retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs
in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that
it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so
it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s
ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
Laughing so hard.

Costco won’t let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends…… it will be their laugh for the day!!!



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    • Kolta

      LMAO.

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