10 Reasons I Wish I Were Christian Slater
Originally posted by Aunt Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka.
1) Christian Slater never ages. Luckily, through the use of Photoshop, neither do I!*
2) Starring in non-corny 80′s cult classics ensures that people like me cut their proverbial teeth on phrases like, “Talk Hard,” and “Chaos was what killed the dinosaurs, darling.”
3) If I were Christian Slater, it wouldn’t be creepy to have a crush on myself.
4) I could try and board a commercial airline with a gun in my bag and not have it be “potential terrorist,” but “quirky.”
5) I could be a vampire who DOES NOT SPARKLE. VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE.
6) I could’ve been BFF with River Phoenix, my first television boyfriend from ages 6-13.
7) I could claim to have a “baboon heart,” and then die in the arms of my longtime love. Mostly, I just want to claim that I have a baboon heart, although I might call it “bonobo,” because it sounds cooler.
8) I’d much prefer to have “distinctive eyebrows,” than a “distinctively (dimply) ass.”
9) My sneering voice would allow you to impersonate Jack Nicholson over the phone, which increases not just my ability to get on radio shows, but also my credit line, as he’s got platinum EVERYTHING.
10) I could get Nerd Cred with a cameo role in Star Trek VI – which would mean that all nerds would listen to me. Forever (and we all know how much I heart nerds).
*A lie – I don’t own Photoshop. BUT I COULD. MAYBE.
The post 10 Reasons I Wish I Were Christian Slater appeared first on Mommy Wants Vodka.
Follow Mommy Wants Vodka on Twitter.
2012-09-25 20:11:10
Source: http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/10-reasons-i-wish-i-were-christian-slater/
Source:
Anyone can join.
Anyone can contribute.
Anyone can become informed about their world.
"United We Stand" Click Here To Create Your Personal Citizen Journalist Account Today, Be Sure To Invite Your Friends.
Please Help Support BeforeitsNews by trying our Natural Health Products below!
Order by Phone at 888-809-8385 or online at https://mitocopper.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST
Order by Phone at 866-388-7003 or online at https://www.herbanomic.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST
Order by Phone at 866-388-7003 or online at https://www.herbanomics.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST
Humic & Fulvic Trace Minerals Complex - Nature's most important supplement! Vivid Dreams again!
HNEX HydroNano EXtracellular Water - Improve immune system health and reduce inflammation.
Ultimate Clinical Potency Curcumin - Natural pain relief, reduce inflammation and so much more.
MitoCopper - Bioavailable Copper destroys pathogens and gives you more energy. (See Blood Video)
Oxy Powder - Natural Colon Cleanser! Cleans out toxic buildup with oxygen!
Nascent Iodine - Promotes detoxification, mental focus and thyroid health.
Smart Meter Cover - Reduces Smart Meter radiation by 96%! (See Video).