I Am Really Outraged! (more Email From The Religious Right)

I have two teenage sons who are just…how should I put it…just starting to “feel” things. You know – down “there?” I don’t know how else to put it, but I think you all know what I mean. They are both real good boys, polite and very well groomed, which they should be, because they both spend what seems like hours in the bathroom. (I don’t really know why it takes so long to comb their hair.)

Anyway, now on TV I keep hearing that there’s a woman they can go to, that they can “use” when they have certain “urges” if you know what I mean. First off just the idea that they can hear this sort of thing on TV is outrageous, and secondly, the idea that they can “use” a woman is even worse.

I am fed up with all this newfangled Progressive/Liberal permissive-anything-goes-attitude about things we never used to even whisper about. I asked my husband about this the other day and he is also real upset about this – and he is real smart –  and he suggested we throw the TV in the lake. While I always listen to my husband in all things and always do as he says, I do not want to not be able to see my shows such as The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and others.

But, back to my two boys; I screwed up my courage and told Hubby that I can’t possibly throw the TV in the lake, so I don’t exactly know how I can prevent the boys from hearing this terrible commercial for this woman they can go to for “you-know-what.” By the by – why isn’t there a law that keeps this kind of stuff from getting into young heads? And how can any woman allow this kind of, I suppose – I don’t know what to call it – “personal business” to be so public? Isn’t she ashamed? Doesn’t she care that the whole world knows she is a Jezebel?

Cheese ‘n crackers – There it is – again!

I need to know who allows this woman to advertise her “wares” in such an un-G-dly blatant manner? Who can we sue? This is why we must elect a Ted Cruz or a Mike Huckabee or a Rick Santorum as President. They would not allow this here Alice person to saturate the TV with this blasphemy.

See Alice? See Alice? I don’t think so! Not on my watch!

Mrs. Caleb Groon
Smyrna, Ga.

© tony powers and Barking in the Dark, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tony powers and Barking in the Dark with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Filed under: Fiction, Presidential Politics, satire, writing Tagged: permissiveness, Rick Santorum, sex, Ted Cruz, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Barking in the Dark is run by Tony Powers, a writer/actor/musician.