Twas The Night Before Christmas With Mrs. Clause
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That’s a bit out of date. Here’s a more likely 21st century scenario…
Dashing thru the snow…..on a V8 wondersled…. crashing into trees….cos I’m off my f*cking head….Been smoking santa’s pipe…a dozen beers or more…I’m heading to the the red light zone to get myself a whore… Oh… Jingle bells, Jingle bells santa’s smokin weed…. Mrs. Claus is on the floor…she’s overdosed on speed…Blitzens f*cked, the elves are too..they’re trippin off their heads..If Rudolf snorts another line the twat will wind up dead!
Merry winter solstice.