Scheduling Sex: Is It Good or Bad?

Regular sex life is one of the most important aspects of happy and healthy relationship, particularly a marriage. But, busy lifestyle, working long hours and having different schedule than your partner can prevent you from having sex as much as you’d like. Lack of sex and intimacy can deteriorate relationship between two people. To prevent this unfortunate scenario many people around the world schedule sex. Although this idea doesn’t sound romantic couples claim it works. Should you schedule sex? Is it good or bad thing to do? Keep reading to find out more.

What do Experts Say?

According to survey published by Netmums, 6 out of 10 couples schedule sex to keep the passion alive. In fact, scheduling sex is one of the best way to prioritize passion in relationship. Depute director of the Australian Research in Sex, Anthony Smith, explained that just as couples set aside time for various activities including meals, they should also set aside time to schedule sex and work on their intimacy. He’s not the only one who shares this opinion. For instance, Claire Nicogossian, licensed clinical psychologist, confirmed that scheduling and making sexual and emotional intimacy a priority for couples is healthy.

Janice Epp, PhD of the Institute for Advanced Studies of Human Sexuality advocates that scheduled is the best thing busy couples can do to maintain their passion and sexuality. She likens scheduled sex for being excited for reservations at a trendy restaurant; partners are building anticipation which can be quite sexy.

Shouldn’t sex be spontaneous?

This is the most common concern in couples who’re debating whether to schedule sex or not. They’re usually convinced sex should be spontaneous and this type of sex can never be as good as scheduled sex. According to Nicogossian this concern is normal but in the end you still get the same result – you’re having sex.

In fact, the entire idea that sex should be spontaneous goes against the science. Waiting to have sex until both partners are in the mood goes against the laws of biology. After all, desire is responsive and it requires arousal. In most cases, the actual physical act is enough to trigger one’s mental state into wanting to have sex.

You can also add a little bit of spontaneity into scheduled sex by trying different “types of sex“. For example, you can have tender and loving sex, wilder sex, you can fulfill each other’s fantasies etc. It gives you freedom to explore, experiment, and be creative.

Benefits of Scheduled Sex

If you’re still debating whether you should try scheduling sex to improve relationship with your significant other, here are its main benefits that will help you reach decision:

Regular sex life is one of the most important aspects of happy and healthy relationship, particularly a marriage. But, busy lifestyle, working long hours and having

• It’s practical for people who keep their lives scheduled i.e. have tough work schedule. Setting aside time for sex is one way of making sure the romance still plays a big role in your relationship.
• It keeps partners in tune with each other’s sex drives. This is particularly beneficial for couples where one partner wants sex while other partner doesn’t. By scheduling intercourse, both partners learn to respect and value the time for physical intimacy and significant other’s libido.
• Scheduling sex eliminates rejections and resentments that are often inevitable when partner with stronger sex drive initiates sex and the partner with lower sex drive refuses.
• It gives couples something to look forward to.
• Scheduling sex restores the butterflies in the stomach and passion from the beginning of the relationship.
• It gives partners time to prepare for intercourse and come up with creative ideas to spice up their sex life.

How to Schedule Sex?

In order to healthy sex life and quality of relationship or marriage with scheduled sex, you have to know how to schedule properly. It’s not just about announcing you want to have sex every Wednesday and Friday night. In fact, it takes more than that. Remember, the key rule to scheduling sex is that both partners have to accept proposed terms. Here are a few tips to schedule sex properly:

• Communicate the expectations – timeframe for intimacy is something both partners have to decide together. You should feel free to talk about your expectations and respect each other’s wishes and desires. It’s crucially important to be honest with your partner.
• Set the parameters – after both of you state your expectations, it’s time to decide days when you should have sex and determine who’s going to initiate it on a certain day. It’s very important for both partners to take turn in initiating sex. One partner shouldn’t do all the work. How many times you’re going to have sex on weekly or monthly basis depends on you only. In cases when two partners have different sex drives, you should find a common ground e.g. if you want to have sex four times a week and your partner thinks once is enough, then twice a week can be an acceptable solution for both of you.
• Initiate sex – here, you have freedom to initiate sex the way it suits you best.

Conclusion

Scheduling sex is, definitely, a good thing and it’s something sex therapists recommend to their patients to keep the spark alive. It’s particularly beneficial for busy partners and couples with different sex drives. It brings you closer to your partner and you can also add a little bit spontaneity in it as well. If you’re looking for something to wake up your sleepy or almost non-existent sex life, scheduling sex can be the right thing for you.

References
http://blogs.naturalnews.com/bad-sleep-habits-ruining-sex-life/
http://guidelineshealth.com/health-care/is-it-safe-to-use-delay-sprays-for-prolonged-sex/