Self-Imposed Isolation

I have spent the past few days basically by myself as my husband has been on a business trip. Yesterday I didn’t even talk on the phone all day. I did talk to my husband in the morning and the evening. I also chatted with my neighbor and her two little boys between my front steps and the street. The day before I talked to my parents, sister, neighbor, and husband on the phone. In between there I have cancelled and made doctor appointments and talked to my attorney about my disability claim. Otherwise, the TV has been on in the background to provide some noise as I have stayed by myself.

This is the most time I have spent by myself since in chemo where I physically did not feel well enough to do anything.

I have been enjoying my time by myself. I have focused on my weaving and knitting. When you do crafts, you get into a ‘zen’ mode which is similar to meditation where you get the same benefits of meditation. It has been enjoyable. I have not felt lonely (besides the cats are here to keep me on my toes).

I could have called more friends and spent more time on the phone. I could have found someone to go out to lunch with if I had wanted.  But I didn’t.

I have tidied things up around the house. I have rested my knee. I made a daily excursion to the mailbox and back in through the garage to take care of things downstairs.

I feel like I have spent time for myself. I didn’t have to worry about needing to make meals. I ate when I was hungry. I fed the cats when they were hungry. It’s been a lot of well needed ‘me time’. I know I don’t have the obligations of a family or a  job.

My obligations are usually defined by on and limited by my physical abilities. I do things for a while and then I rest. That has not changed here. I do what I want and then I rest. But my resting might include knitting while I lie in bed with my leg up as I rest my back.

Tonight it all changes. My husband returns this evening and has the day off tomorrow so we can get some errands dealt with. So my self imposed isolation is ending and I have enjoyed it. I hope to repeat it again in six months or so.

Caroline’s Breast Cancer Blog