What To Do When Someone Yells at You!

When we get into arguments, there is rarely time for us to hear the words that we spew. In the moment we say some vile, hateful, spiteful, degrading and demeaning words to each other. It’s only after the argument has settled, that we look back and start to feel guilt and remorse at the things we said.

We ask ourselves “is this the kind of person I am?” “I can’t believe I said those things!”

The anger we face at this juncture is hardly ever towards the person that we argued with – more towards ourselves. The feelings of guilt and shame become overwhelming because most of us strive and believe we are better than that.

The next time you get into a verbal spite and someone starts yelling at your shortcomings, try your best to stay quite. Don’t add verbal fire – this will only intensify the argument – might even make it physical. Take the words thrown at you – remain calm and poised.

Let them go off on their rant, resist every urge in your body to snap back. Here is the trick. After the individual is done – and they will stop soon as you are not inflaming the argument – just remain calm and silent possessing a very inquisitive stare.

Continue with the gaze but don’t say a thing. Just remain calm. Your aggressor will expect a reprise – don’t indulge. Take all the time you need. A funny thing will happen. The aggressor will start to think about the things that were said to you and feel bad.

You will see their body language change, they will have a sense of lost pride and guilt – you will notice it and at this point you remark “if there is nothing else, I’d like to get back to work, play, sleep, lunch, etc”

This trick sounds deceptively simple but its highly effective. You have saved your pride by not taking the bait and the other person feels increasing guilty about letting themselves go in such a rash, unbecoming manner.

Surprisingly this will even make the individual prone to change without any criticism or advice as your silence reflected in them shows their faults in a more glaring light.

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