Why Not Me?

Ahh – envy…such a useful emotion in making us run riot with anger and destroying our mental stability.

We seldom like to see people doing well, making it, having a good time – we want the people in our lives (friends and family) to be at least equal or lesser than our social or economic status.

We are often so willing to help people but rarely are we willing to help them to such an extent that they catch up to us – or even surpass us. There is always a boundary.

Personally I feel envy is the most destructive emotion – we resent another person’s happiness and gain – we exude the mentality that if I should suffer – then we should all suffer. We scoff at that guy with the fancy car and pretty girlfriend, thinking we are better intellectually, physically, spiritually, all secretly hoping we have what he has.

Pretty degrading stuff to put yourself through huh?

Instead of always comparing your lives to others try to focus on what you already have. You may be perplexed to notice that some people are already envious of you.

What envy does is seriously limit your ability to move forward in life. We you resent the gain of others, you subconsciously prevent yourself from gaining anything either. Makes sense right! You have to give to receive and the same applies to your emotions.

Don’t covet what others have or generate a hateful attitude towards someone you envy – strive to genuinely feel happy for them. How? Well, try some compassionate forms of meditation like metta, or be completely absorbed in your goals without comparing your achievements to others.

Hang out with “high status” people or people that you are envious of. Quite often you will realize that these people are successful because they did not harbor such thoughts. They are very willing to help – practice some humility.

Sometimes envy can propel people to become intensely competitive – hence they will strive and walk over anything in their path to reach their goal. Usually this is not accompanied by a feeling of fulfillment, but rather revenge, thus whatever you have achieved won’t last very long. Not to mention the bridges you burnt along the way.

Most of our frustrations stem from envy – the reason we don’t want do things, learn things, interact with people, go on vacation and all that good stuff is because we want to avoid people and circumstances that will make us envious. Don’t resort to imprisoning your life!

Freeing yourself from envy is extremely satisfying. Imagine yourself, always happy, smiling and with a genuine desire to see your friends, family, enemies and acquaintance’s achieve their goals. It’s an incredibly freeing emotion.

Learn to flow – let everything come and go as they please – if people are racing past you, don’t rush, don’t hate, just move along at your pace and keep focus on your goals. After all, life is not measured in deadlines.

Read more at multiple Facets