How to Deal With Grief and Loss

Death is a part of life but when it happens so suddenly and abruptly it makes loss very difficult to grasp.

This is especially true when dealing with loved ones.

Death is essentially dealing with loss. The loss of familiarity, closeness, feeling, desire, warmth, friendship and guidance.

We cannot accept loss because our lives are in fact tied and defined to that which we hold on to.

People try to cope with loss in many different facets. Most of it involves reliving the memories of loved ones as much as they can to gain comfort and solace. This is a clinging, subconsciously unable to accept the fact that one is missing from their lives.

Others try to completely forget – diving into solitude, abasement and social indifference. They become abhorrent in getting close with anyone for the fear that they might lose them. They embrace the recluse life and become a ghost to their friends and family.

Acceptance of loss is very difficult but acceptance is the only way  that leads to insight. However hard it may be, we have to understand that there is no insurance in life. Anything can happen to us or our loved ones at any moment. It does not matter to construct the why, how’s or “how could you’s?”

Life at best is uncertain. That’s the risk we pay for living it. There are no guarantees. We can expect people and society to be a certain way, we can strive for better circumstances and yearn for a better place in our lives. We can hold those in power responsible to safeguard us and watch over our children. We can hope that Governments have people’s best interests at hand and continue living life, ever expectant. After all for a lot of us this “hope” is our driving force.

All these are still expectations. Not a guarantee. We are lucky enough to live amongst people who strive to make these expectations a reality and we enjoy a lot of freedom and success as a result of it.

However, this being life expect nothing to stay in flux.

There is no personal vendetta from godly forces or powers unknown. Loss is the only reality in the mystery called life. Those of us who have passed on, peacefully or otherwise truly know the answers; the how’s, the why’s and the what’s.

All we can do is be happy that they are not suffering from the instances of life – no grief, loss nor tears – just peace.  Let’s take solace in that while we keep on living our lives to the best we can.