Concentrate on what is key

People intentionally clutter their lives. They do it for various reasons. Some get to a point where they aren’t sure how the monster was created, but they don’t have a moment to do a thing. Last night someone wrote asking how to unclutter their lives. The old fashioned way! Prioritize, and rid yourself of what isn’t needed.

People can sometimes busy up their days in order to not have to deal with things they don’t want to deal with. They may not even be cognizant of what they are doing. When we are busy, it is harder to worry, to reminisce, to deal with things we would rather not deal with, or think, or feel guilty or sad. Some people sleep their troubles into monsters, some “busy” their troubles into them.

When people are so busy they can ignore things,like the mess in the house that is ready to fall on them, the child who is having issues, the spouse who is unplugged, the bills that are piling up, then there is a problem that needs to be addressed other than a clean up. Sometimes it is more general, they are depressed, or angry. Many depressed people spend their lives so busy that people are shocked when they crash, because they thought that the person had such a fulfilling life. They didn’t at all, they were constantly running away.

There are different ways of not dealing with things from being a work-a-holic so we don’t have to work thru issues at home, to sleeping our lives away. Keeping busy is one of the main ways people use. They are always SOMEWHERE doing SOMETHING, other than dealing with issues at hand. Some take on tasks and events so that people will like them, pay attention to them, or praise them, none of these is ever a reason to take on a project. When you don’t get the praise you seek it will feel worse, not better.

When you can look in the mirror and say, no that really is not it, I just let myself get too involved in too many things, then prioritize. What is necessary and what isn’t? What is important to you? What has long range bonus and what has short range bonus to it? You can put somethings off. Then start weeding. Start with things that you are doing for others that they can do for themselves. This is always a hard one for people, but people, even your kids, need to learn how to be independent. When you never learn that lesson, you never will be able to live your life in a fulfilling manner. Always having to depend on someone else, means you are always in their prison. Sometimes it may be a prison with a nice view, but it is a prison just the same.

Take away what you need to, and then schedule a ME time. We don’t want to swing the pendulum all the way to the ME ME ME , it is ALL about ME place, just a time when you can relax and recharge. Some people do that by sitting and reading a book, others by climbing a mountain. “Me time” doesn’t require stillness, just “down time”. Time when you are not solving the world’s problems.

Not only is this something you should do, but NEED to do. We can’t help others if we run ourselves into the ground. We need to be in the right place emotionally, physically and mentally to help others. We aren’t supposed to be “on” 24/7.

So start weeding. You may need to weed people, groups, events, duties, but if you have an overwhelming life, you need to act before you get buried under a mountain of requests.

Life is about doing things you feel good about, and learning in the process. It isn’t about doing things to be liked or taking over things because you want to to make yourself feel better. It is DOING THE RIGHT THINGS FOR the RIGHT REASONS!

Peshaui Wequashimese

(C)2013 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.