Choosing your life

We all choose our life. We all make choices along the way that can have long term or short term effects. When we are clear and honest with ourselves , we can look back and say “that was the best path for me and it worked”, or “I will never do that again”. Many times the effect is short term, but there are always ripples that go out in to the future to make changes. Some subtle, some important, and some become life changers.

Many times people make decisions based on emotion of the moment. It can be passion or anger, and even fear. Basing any decision on fear is always a bad decision. Basing one on anger isn’t always, sometimes we need to temper that anger first, but most of the changes, and laws, that we have today, exist because someone became angry about an injustice. Anger motivates many to make changes, and many times they are good changes. The good changes come when we calm ourselves before reacting.

Always ACT, not REACT. Actions takes forethought and planning. Reacting just takes upset. It never leads to a good place.

Rememebr that you always have a choice as to how you respond to a situation. Too many people respond to situations that they do not like today with revenge, retaliation,  and harm. The best way to respond is to find the best option and then go with it. We need to always respond however, as when you allow injustice to happen and not respond to it, you are part of the problem and just as bad as the person doing wrong.

We need to keep in mind the “do unto others” rule and in drastic situations, find the best answer. After all, if a mugger takes your wallet, you then don’t go and steal his….but you find the proper response.

We choose our day, we choose our life. Many who do not have “good ones” would disagree becasue they don’t want the weight to fall on their shoulders. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond to it that makes or breaks your day. It is what you learn from it (do you keep allowing this to happen?), that keeps you protected. It is what you do to prevent it, or recreate it that changes your life.

I have people ask all the time why they keep attracting the wrong men. The answer is because they want to. The reasons vary. Some want to “save them”, some have low self esteem and figure that is the best they can do. Some just want a warm body and that is what they get. Some are afraid to open up and love so they bring men into their lives they know will mistreat them, so then it is the man’s fault that the relationship didn’t work. Some are so desperate to hear the words “marriage” and “children” that they hear them from men who are conning them into a purely physical relationship, where three years later they are still wondering where the ring is.

I have had people tell me that a man told them on the first date he never met any one like them and he wants a wife. RED FLAG. RUN!!!! Real , honest, and emotionally/mentally healthy men don’t say that. They don’t go there. They get to know you. There are many out there who know just the words to say to reel in the desperate and weak. They know the words to say to keep you from moving on and finding the better partner.

Always take the time to really get to know the person you are considering spending most of your time with. Make sure that you have what is important on our list of “must haves” with that person, if the list isn’t complete, move on. They aren’t going to change.

Please do not waste your time with partners or friends who are not living up to their end of things. You will just be a few years down the road looking back, and wondering what went wrong.

In the meantime, CHOOSE your day, CHOOSE your life, CHOOSE you attitude…and make it a good one!

Peshaui Wequashimese

(C)2013 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.