Insecure Monkeys

It may seem strange to some people but over the course of my life I have realized that all of us have the same fears, insecurities and worries. We might want to think that we are a unique case and improve our self-worth through identifying our problems as one of a kind, but we are not.

Our problems are not one of a kind. We all face the same harrowing quest to live life while hiding our deepest, darkest insecurities so as not to be labeled a pariah in society.

“Do people like me? Do my friends like me? Do I like myself? I am worried to show my true self to others – they might not like who I really am! I am scared to be myself, share my deepest thoughts, my views, and my ideas. I might as well conform to the status quo so I am not labelled an outcast.

I don’t want to not be wanted, not liked, not needed, and not thought of. I don’t want to be lonely, an insignificant speck that the world just brushes away. I want to be recognized, valued, respected and loved.

I want you to like me for all the things that I do to attract your attention, your kind words, your commendations, your thoughts. I want to be involved, I don’t want to be left out. Think of me, remember me, praise me, and love me. I don’t want to live a life of guise, I want the freedom to be who I really am. If you know who I really am, would you still accept me?”

Regardless of our economic, social or physical standing we face these insecurities. It stems from one desire – acceptance and recognition by everyone around us – those that influence our lives and those that don’t. We want everyone to have a good impression of us.

Now for the most part this is our driving force. A lot of what we do in life and our day to day activities acts as a reference point to dispel these insecurities. Our minds are laden with these thoughts, which in turn give rise to jealousy, hatred, covetousness, which in turn serves to deepen our insecurities. This becomes a vicious cycle.

To overcome such mental anguish we must realize that all of us face the same plight. We are no more special than anyone else when it comes to the problems we face. It’s has become very hard to be our true selves, because we have always tried to hide our weaknesses by being who we are not in an effort for greater societal acceptance.

We cannot be ourselves because we do not know who we are anymore. We are a mishmash of white lies, fake facades and bloated ego’s. We know we do not like this person we have forced ourselves to become for the sake of acceptance and we cannot be who we really are because that person went missing a long time ago.

Take the time to find yourself. Solitude helps. Identify those who are closest to you, see if you are absolutely honest with them as you would be with yourself. The way you act, talk, behave and portray yourself. The wise say that what you think of yourself is what’s most important, but if what you think of yourself is a result of conditioning from an ego based societal influence then you are no more the better.

Get back to your roots – there was a time in your life where you were actually carefree. Not concerned about the thoughts of the world. This maybe when you were a kid, but you had this state of freedom in your life. Yet because of what some said or did, your attitudes changed and you continued to absorb more and more that shaped your thoughts and outlooks.

Now you live for the proverbial thumbs up of your surroundings, not knowing that everyone else is living for the same accolade. Get your individuality back, it’s the greatest favor you can do before you completely lose yourself in a haze of expectations.