Right and wrong

I hear from clients all the time that, “it isn’t fair”, or “I had nothing to do with it”. Many times we get caught up in things, every time it is a lesson. Not a punishment, a lesson.

Life isn’t fair. Maybe you had a parent smart enough, and brave enough to tell you that. However in the scheme of things, you have the power and ability to tip the scales in your favor a bit every time. The people who don’t bother to ever tip the scales are people who are lazy, or scared, or know they are wrong. Life isn’t fair, but that doesn’t mean we always have to swallow a wrong or suffer an injustice.

When life goes sideways on you, and you know that you were wronged, then use every available option to set things right. Speak up for yourself, act within the laws of society, and get things back in balance. No one is going to do it for you, and hopefully you are lucky enough to have people to do it with you. Most times you can make it right.

This doesn’t mean you get to slash the ex’s tires, or call their new relationship partner and tell them what a worm he is. It means you defend yourself , and protect yourself in any legal way possible.

When we sit and live with the “don’t rock the boat” mentality, we leave another person or person(s) susceptible to the whims of the person who is doing wrong. When a person is doing something that is legally wrong , report them. Rock the boat becasue that is how things improve, how they change and how they get righted.

There are many ways in this society ro right wrongs, but revenge through lies, innuendo, and property damage, isn’t the way.

This takes me to a current topic, the Zimmerman trial. From day one I knew that both sides were telling some truth and both sides were telling some untruth. What people do not realize, or remember, is that when we have an issue go to trial it isn’t about who is right and wrong. It is about who can prove, beyond a reasonable doubt (in some cases) , their version the best way. It is a about PROOF, not right or wrong. Sometimes you can be totally right and not have a shred of proof. Many people of every race, creed, background and religion are wronged, ruined, maimed and killed everyday.It is far worse overseas in some countries than it is here. The only reason the Zimmerman trial was no “important” was that the media latched on to it as a way to sell news. It was a classic story. Two people alone at night, one dies, one is black , one is white. Who was right and who was wrong? They both were both. Was Martin an angel, heck no. Was Zimmerman over reactive, heck yes. The combination usually results in a blow up. Sometimes people die. Should that young man have died? No not at all, but what can either side prove? No one else was there, and things have to be unbiased and pieced together.

I can tell you the answer is NOT to threaten Zimmerman, then you are as low, if not lower than he. It is not to take retribution or take to the streets, because our court system is, and will always be about proof. It happens in all our lives everyday on a smaller scale. The bigger, faster, smarter, stronger are always working at an advantage. They know it and abuse it. It is up to you to stand up for yourself in a smart, firm, fair way. A way that protects you as much as possible, without unduly damaging another person.

This will blow over, it all does, it just remains to see how long it will take. Are people still enraged over the Anthony trial? No, how long ago was that?  About 2 years ago. People threatened her, and she went into hiding. A totally innocent child died. Much more innocent than Martin, much younger, and most likely died at the hands of her mother. But it isn’t about what happened and who is right and who is wrong, it is about  proof.

It is about proof in your life, it is about piling up the small things so  high that they tip over on the head of the person who keeps stepping over the line. It is about drawing healthy boundaries and sticking to them. It is about being fair. It is about speaking up for yourself. It is about not knuckling under to people who have control issues. It is about standing strong and speaking up in a fair voice to all who will listen.

Life isn’t black or white, it is grey. It always has been. How light a shade of grey your life is , is up to you.

Do the right things for the right reasons and you will never have to worry. Speak up. Speak fairly.

Peshaui Wequashimese

(C)2013 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission