Value, a word to remember. Soulmate a word to forget.

People do not put a value on value…..OK sounds silly , but here we go.

People have relationships, they call their partner their “soulmate” because for some reason (and sometimes that reason is dysfunction), they are so attached to this person, they think it means that their union is in someway ordained by God on High. Seriously, God doesn’t care. Yahweh doesn’t care, no  matter what you call the spiritual leader in your life, it doesn’t care.

The Universe will sometimes put us in a situation together. It may be to have a wonderful relationship, and it may be to learn a harsh lesson. Did the Universe sit down and pick your mate before you were born. No, it has much more important things to do. YOU even picked your parents! You picked your lessons, and you picked you challenges. When all that truly important stuff is decided by you, what makes you think the Universe picked your love interest?

The whole “soulmate” thing is a modern contrivance, made up by people who want to sell books, readings, spells, counseling and coaching. Can you honestly say that the Universe placed you with someone who won’t talk to you., cheats on you, won’t give you the time of day, because they are your perfect partner? Your “soulmate” is not married to someone else or dating someone else. They are not abusive, they are not a person who will ignore you, tell you to get lost, or call and complain that you are stalking them. When it isn’t working, it isn’t even a valuable relationship, it certainly isn’t something that would be a soulmate situation!

People need to put more value on themselves, some people put too much, but others allow people to treat them like a dirty dishrag and then wonder why everything goes to hell every day.

Value. We don’t value our friendships, our families , our job, our lives. We complain, gripe, accuse, and slander. When we truly value, we will never do these things.

Let’s think in a mundane way to make it clear. When we see an item for $1.99 it may or may not be a good value. When it is a cheeseburger, you probably aren’t getting good value or service. How big is it? What is the nutritional value? The taste? Does it fill you up? Now buy a $4.99 cheeseburger that tastes great, fills you up, is healthier, and is bigger. That is a better value. Some people but the cheapest they can find, and then say, “Well if it doesn’t work it is cheap to replace”. OK, Let’s say I buy a $1 scrub brush. It doesn’t scrub very well, the bristles fall out, the handle snaps, and it hurts my hand if I scrub hard. Since it breaks all the time, I have bought five of them this year, so it is really a $5 scrub brush, plus my time and gas to get five of them.The things I am trying to scrub aren’t a as clean as I would like. I see value in things , so instead I buy a $3.99 scrub brush. It cleans better and I use it all year. It is more expensive, but it is a better value.

We have to also put value on things. We have to celebrate our friends, situations, jobs, even if they aren’t exactly what we would prefer. Not everyone thinks like us, and when we try to force others into our way, it never works well. That said, many times in life, you have to do things, or do things in a way that you wouldn’t normally. The key is to make suggestions, then move forward.

Life is too short to spend it with a jerk who you labeled “soulmate”, a cheeseburger that doesn’t fill you up and has no nutritional value, and things that keep breaking (or are less than what you could have), because you are not putting a value on things.

The handsomest man on the block is not your soulmate because you can’t stop thinking about him,  and the lowest number after the dollar sign is not the best value. I have heard the word “soulmate” five times since yesterday. None of these people were worthy of the term, more like abusive, noncommittal jerks.One man, to his credit, was just a guy who is fresh out of a marriage and is not interested in dating. Just because you are head over heels in some altered state over a person or thing, doesn’t mean it has any real value or is your “soulmate”.

Value people who value you. That doesn’t mean people who always agree with you or do what you want. That doesn’t mean men who chase you (and then when they catch you, they walk away). It means a true partnership, and that is always 50/50.

Everything you do today should be looked at in terms of “value” . Don’t cheat yourself looking for the easiest, cheapest, smoothest way, you may be surprised at what you see!

Peshaui Wequashimese

(C)2014 Dr R M Wolf, May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.