Equaliphobia and the Gender War

Power and Control

A few weeks ago, a 28-year-old woman lamented to me that she consistently encounters “losers” in her dating experiences. Upon probing further, I discovered the reason: she has equaliphobia.

Equaliphobia is the fear of equality. Why would anyone fear equality? Simple: equality strips a relationship’s participants of power and control, pillars of the gender war. With rare exception, people begin jockeying for power and control on the first date and, when children are involved, continue this inane battle after divorce.
 

“What is the point of dating without games? How do you know if you’re winning or losing?”

Jerry Seinfeld
Seinfeld: Episode #91, “The Couch”

 
The usual rationalization for equaliphobia is that men and women simply aren’t equal because: 1) men are stronger than women; 2) men outearn women.

First, the US Constitution mentions nothing about muscles, paychecks, or women — only equal treatment to all by the legislative, judicial, and executive branches of government. It does not guarantee equal jobs, pay, houses, health, wealth, or education — no special deals for specific individuals, classes of individuals, industries, companies, or states.

Unfortunately, most males in government are equaliphobic, responsible for passing, enforcing, and adjudicating misandrist laws, perpetuating the gender war. Barack Obama told NBC News that, when it comes to women, “men are still a little obtuse about this stuff … and need to be knocked across the head every once in a while.” Priceless.
 

 
And, during gut-wrenching protests against building the Ground Zero Mosque, Barack Obama invoked his disingenuous belief in equal rights, as seen in the video below. He’s the same guy who seeks to penalize achievers and transparently kowtows to women in his social policies.
 

Obama Touts Equality While Always Kowtowing to Women

 
Second, not all men outearn all women — today, young women outearn their male peers. Do lower-paid men have more rights than their richer female counterparts? Yeah, right.

Third, if one man can benchpress more than the next, does the weaker man have more rights than the first man? Of course not. And, what about a woman with a black belt in karate who can kick the asses of most men? Do her potential male targets have more rights than she? You answer that one.

Fourth, if one man outearns another man doing the same work — which happens all the time — does the lower-paid man have more rights than the first? No, again. I think you’re getting the picture. In fact, equaliphobia is based not in logic or reason but in the insecure need for power and control.

Defer, Coddle, and Tolerate Hypocrisy

The 28-year-old above had complained that men call her too last-minute for dates. Naturally, I queried her: Why are you passively awaiting their calls? Why don’t you call them? “Call men? I don’t have to call men; they come to me!” she disdainfully snorted from her pedestal, feeling superior. Ironically, an air of superiority is always a mask for a feeling of inferiority.

This Millennial child is a product of the “feminist” era. Fairness rules, right? Nonsense! Women are capitalists at work and socialists in their social lives — lovers of special entitlements and wealth redistribution from men to themselves. She’s no exception. Only eunuchs would subject themselves to her conceit and condescension, and they do. Equaliphobia is self-fulfilling.

Men fear equality because they’re untrained to handle it and also fret that it will subvert their sexual aspirations. Besides, they rarely meet women who want to be peers. Moreover, society tells them that masculinity derives from protecting and providing for women, notwithstanding that women earn 50% more college degrees than they. Worse, as boys, they learned to defer, coddle, and tolerate hypocrisy — the antithesis of equality — as ways to deal with females.

Women fear equality because they rue losing entitlements — free drinks and unconstitutional rights in reproduction, rape, child custody, and domestic violence. By observing their mothers, movies, and TV, young girls learn to amass a quiver of “inequality” arrows, such as cleavage, tears, tantrums, 911 calls, rape threats, victimhood, sex, and babies.

Real Men Don’t Buy Sex

Sex, in a world of equality, is the result of charm and personality, mutual attraction, and zero manipulation — like a four-leaf clover, rarely seen. Minus games and deceit, most folks are lost and uncomfortable. That’s why eunuchs typically rely on cash, booze, and groveling — the sad hope of “getting lucky” — for sex, while merchant maureens dig for gold, making most dating and marriage legal prostitution.

Society, in general, suffers from equaliphobia and cannot tolerate women going the extra mile for men. When Renee Zellweger recently fetched coffee for herself and beau Bradley Cooper from an LA Starbucks, while he waited in the car, Britain’s Daily Mail had to make a big deal of it. Why? How dare she lift a finger — and a wallet — for him! A princess must sit on her throne while male subjects serve her. Brad and Renee must be clueless.
 

In The Big Picture: The New Logic of Money and Power in Hollywood, author Edward Jay Epstein describes eunuchs in the movie business:

Samuel Bronfman, founder of what became Seagram’s, asked his son Edgar, who had just bought $40M worth of MGM stock: “Are we buying all this stock in MGM just so you can get laid?”

Eventually, Italian financier Giancarlo Parretti bought MGM for $1.6B and told Alan Ladd Jr., the studio’s head, “You just make the films; I want to make the actresses.”

After Parretti went bankrupt, French bank Credit Lyonnais took over MGM. In handling this takeover, California Superior Court judge Irving Shimer opined that the bankers who had lent MGM money weren’t “interested in making movies. They were interested in getting girls… That’s why bankers come to Hollywood.”

Question: If these “moguls” have so much going for them, are such powerful men, why do they feel the need to purchase merchant maureens? Answer: an air of superiority is always a mask for a feeling of inferiority. Real men don’t buy sex — ever. Real women are not for sale or rent — ever.

The NoNonsense Bottom Line

Recall your first lesson in algebra, which holds that two kinds of relationships exist in nature: equal to and not equal to. When two entities are unequal, one is, by definition, greater than the second — meaning, by default, that the second is less than the first.

So, if your relationship is not based on equality, and you believe that it cannot be based on equality — because males and females, according to your philosophy, aren’t equal — I have three questions:

1. Which one of you is greater than the other?
2. Who decided that?
3. How does this imbalance affect your sex life?

The gender war exists because people want to fight it. The revolving door at your local divorce court proves it — and women file the majority of divorces.

Men and women cling to equaliphobia in lieu of dropping the pretenses, the games, the deceit, the manipulation, and the quest for power and control. Wasted time, energy, and lives.

Remember: less is more in architecture — but not in your relationship.
 

About the Author

Marc H. Rudov, The NoNonsense Man®, is a globally known radio/TV personality, relationship coach, speaker, and author of 125+ articles and Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze, or Jumper Cables (ISBN 9780974501727), The Man’s No-Nonsense Guide to Women: How to Succeed in Romance on Planet Earth (ISBN 0974501719), and a forthcoming book for women. The 2008 recipient of the National Coalition of Free Men’s “Award for Excellence in Promoting Gender Fairness In The Media,” Mr. Rudov is a frequent guest on Fox News Channel.

Rudov’s books, articles, radio/TV archives, and podcasts are available at TheNoNonsenseMan.com.

Copyright © 2010 by Marc H. Rudov. All rights reserved.

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