McConnell Killed by Rogue Vegetables
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sen. Mitch McConnell (RINO, Ky) was killed today when a rabble of angry vegetables swarmed him outside the Russell Senate Office Building.
Killer tomatoes ripped McConnell limb from limb and fed him to locally grown corn and cucumbers after McConnell turned traitor and helped Democrats pass the Food Safety Bill, outlawing the sale of locally grown vegetables and fruits at food stands.
Local farmers stood by as the vegetables raged, cheering and holding signs with slogans such as “An Ear of McConnell for an Ear of Corn” and “My Squash, Your Face.”
“Last year, more people were killed by automobile accidents, heart attacks, lung cancer, and natural causes combined than by any one tomato,” said one local farmer, adding that one turncoat senator is far more dangerous than the risk any homegrown vegetable poses to the average American.
When told the bill would ruin their chances for school field trips to local fruit stands, children visiting the Capital Building raided a Whole Foods market and pelted McConnell’s remains with Brussel sprouts.
Said one particularly rotund pumpkin from Maryland who joined in the fray, in between bites from one of McConnell’s arms, “This gives a whole new meaning to the saying, ‘Eat Local.’”
Source:
Anyone can join.
Anyone can contribute.
Anyone can become informed about their world.
"United We Stand" Click Here To Create Your Personal Citizen Journalist Account Today, Be Sure To Invite Your Friends.
Lion’s Mane Mushroom
Mushrooms are having a moment. One fabulous fungus in particular, lion’s mane, may help improve memory, depression and anxiety symptoms. They are also an excellent source of nutrients that show promise as a therapy for dementia, and other neurodegenerative diseases. If you’re living with anxiety or depression, you may be curious about all the therapy options out there — including the natural ones.Our Lion’s Mane WHOLE MIND Nootropic Blend has been formulated to utilize the potency of Lion’s mane but also include the benefits of four other Highly Beneficial Mushrooms. Synergistically, they work together to Build your health through improving cognitive function and immunity regardless of your age. Our Nootropic not only improves your Cognitive Function and Activates your Immune System, But it benefits growth of Essential Gut Flora, further enhancing your Vitality.
Our Formula includes:
Lion’s Mane Mushrooms which Increase Brain Power through nerve growth, lessen anxiety, reduce depression, and improve concentration. Its an excellent adaptogen, promotes sleep and improves immunity.
Shiitake Mushrooms which Fight cancer cells and infectious disease, boost the immune system, promotes brain function, and serves as a source of B vitamins.
Maitake Mushrooms which regulate blood sugar levels of diabetics, reduce hypertension and boosts the immune system.
Reishi Mushrooms which Fight inflammation, liver disease, fatigue, tumor growth and cancer. They Improve skin disorders and soothes digestive problems, stomach ulcers and leaky gut syndrome.
Chaga Mushrooms which have anti-aging effects, boost immune function, improve stamina and athletic performance, even act as a natural aphrodisiac, fighting diabetes and improving liver function.
Try Our Lion’s Mane WHOLE MIND Nootropic Blend 60 Capsules. Today Be 100% Satisfied Or Receive A Full Money Back Guarantee Order Yours Today By Following This Link.
| Online: | |
| Visits: | 1,608,378,581 |
| Stories: | 8,164,446 |
Whistler Blowers, Insiders
