Africa Vacation Security: $100 Million. Photo-Ops: Priceless!

Despite a bit of bad press regarding the cost of our African Safari diplomatic mission -

The excursion reportedly will involve military cargo planes airlifting 56 support vehicles, including 14 limousines, and three trucks to carry bulletproof glass panels to cover the windows where the president and his family will stay.

we’re at home, resting up and packing for our sojourn next week to Senegal, South Africa and Tanzania . Where we will not, repeat, not be going on safari – thanks to a bunch of snoopy old Tea Party whistleblowers. It’s okay with me though; I always get nervous out on the open savannah where wild animals operate by the law of the jungle

and everybody’s shooting guns. That sort of thing should be confined to urban environments like Chicago.

Besides, just like Fast & Furious, IRS scandals, NSA snooping, wiretapping reporters and sequester cuts, we here in the Big White have no control over these matters:

The price tag, Mr. Rhodes added, is outside of the White House’s control.

“Security requirements, which make up the bulk of the costs, are determined by the Secret Service,” he said.

And the doesn’t work for Big Guy…not directly.

One of the extra non-security costs we’ll be incurring is an extra Louis Vuitton trunk for all the additional wardrobe changes required on this trip. For instance, I see we’ll be meeting with Marème Faye Sall, First Lady of Senegal.

During this trip, the First Lady will meet directly with youth and highlight the power and importance of education,” the White House reveals.

On June 27th in Dakar, the First Lady will meet with Madame Marème Sall, First Lady of Senegal. Mrs. Obama and Madame Sall will then visit the Martin Luther King Middle School, an all-girls school in Senegal. In the afternoon, the President and First Lady will visit Gorée Island and in the evening, the First Lady will join President Obama for a dinner hosted by President Sall.

I’m relieved to see we won’t have to worry too much about competing with the FLOS on the the “svelte body and toned arms” front, butt as you can see, Marème is quite the fashionista:

This is going to require a reprise of the Red Queen head-of-state dinner dress by Alexander the McQueen:

Whoops, wrong red queen, here it is:

Yes, I think this will compete work quite well.

As always, other sideshows threaten to derail our second fun summer vacay:

Calls for Mr. Obama’s arrest from the Muslim Lawyers Association in Johannesburg, South Africa, which objects to the administration’s drone program.

What’s their problem? If we have no problem with drones in America why should Muslims in South Africa object?

And speaking of South Africa, it looks like Big Guy and Lady M aren’t going to get that power couple photo op meeting with Nelson Mandela after all. It seems he’s in pretty bad shape, ever since the ambulance transporting him to a hospital broke down and was stranded on the side of the road for 40 minutes in freezing South African winter temperatures. Just as well – that we aren’t doing the  photo-op I mean, not that Nelson is so ill – I’m not insensitive like some people I know around here. Butt I just know the Tea Party would use it and the broken down ambulance story as a metaphor for Obamacare. You know how they like to twist things around.

My Obama “Affordable Care” is going to cost HOW much!!?? I thought it was free.

Nelson’s failing health is not really a problem – for us I mean. Of course it remains a problem for him and his family, and we extend our deepest concern. Butt we do have the photo-op with Nelson from Lady M and the Wee Wons’ 2011 safari trip. And since MO’s the only one of the Wons eligible (so far) to run for president in 2016, we’re all set.

Props to the props

Although that does remind me of this very special memento photograph that Big Guy sent to Nelson in 2010:

It’s inscribed “To Nelson Mandela – an inspiration to us all!” and hand-signed by BO himself! He also accompanied the gift with an iPod filled with his and TOTUS’s most famous reads.

Well, I’ve got to run. I have to locate Lady M’s favorite umbrella dress that she somehow thinks will be perfect for winter in South Africa.

If you think these wardrobe choices are odd and/or accidental, you’ve really not strapped yourself into your thinking cap. Lady M’s very deliberate fashion choices for our $100 million vacay have all been made with an eye to keeping your eye focused on our finery rather than the reality of our trip’s frivolousness. I think it’s working. So far the only person who seems to have noticed is George Will:

The question of whether Barack Obama’s second term will be a failure was answered in the affirmative before his Berlin debacle, which has recast the question, which now is: Will this term be silly, even scary in its detachment from reality? (snip)

Regarding another threat, he spoke an almost meaningless sentence that is an exquisite example of why his rhetoric cannot withstand close reading: “We may strike blows against terrorist networks, but if we ignore the instability and intolerance that fuels extremism, our own freedom will eventually be endangered.” So, “instability and intolerance” are to blame for terrorism? Instability where? Intolerance of what by whom “fuels” terrorists? Terrorism is a tactic of destabilization. Intolerance is, for terrorists, a virtue.

Oye: “his rhetoric cannot withstand close reading.”!?! It’s going to be a long road trip. Wish me luck.