We’re All Gonna Die! Special Sequestration Edition

This is a special edition of the We’re All Gonna Die! series, in that for the first time it won’t be about Global Warming climate change. As it turns out, enviro-radicals hold no monopoly on doom-mongering rhetoric.

President Obama’s hysterical wailing about miniscule sequestration “cuts” (read: government growing at slightly less than assumed levels) has reached a fever pitch worthy of this illustrious series. Keep in mind that the sequester was Obama’s idea, and he has previously promised to veto attempts to undo it. But that hasn’t stopped the Presidential meltdown:

What, according to Obama, would the sequester mean?

It would, according to the president on Tuesday, “jeopardize military readiness … eviscerate job creating investments in education and energy and research … emergency responders … border agents … FBI agents…federal prosecutors will have to close cases and let criminals go … air traffic controllers and airport security will see cutbacks … more delays at airports across the country … thousands of teachers and educators will be laid off … tens of thousands of parents will have to scramble to find child care … hundreds of thousands will lose access to primary care and preventive care like flu vaccinations and cancer screenings,” and the list went on.

In fairness, Obama is not the first Democrat to flip his lid at the thought of even slightly slowing down the rapid growth of government spending. Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi once declared that she was trying to “save life on this planet as we know it” from a Republican budget. Al Sharpton hyperventilated that the Balanced Budget Amendment was an “extreme piece of Republican mean-spiritedness” that would “destroy up to 15 million jobs.” And just a few days ago, Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee announced that the gigantic federal government is “at the bone, almost,” before warning that “across-the-board cuts will literally destroy us.”

So there you have it. Tax and spend, or destroy us all!