Latest Climate Fear Mongering: Global Warming Will Lead To Fewer Attractive Women

The global warming enthusiasts are going out of the way to convince men of the veracity of their hypothesis, and to be honest this time they are hitting below the belt.  If you believe the latest reports global warming will lead to a dearth of attractive women.

Earlier this week, well-known scholar of the beauty arts Tyra Banks wrote a piece in the Wall Street Journal about beauty in the future. She said that global warming will cause women to loose their “womanly” figures:

Global warming will threaten our crops so natural food will be scarce. Hourglass, curvy bodies will be the aspirational beauty standard, representing that those women have access to bounties of fulfilling yet healthy food, which means they are affluent.

Do you have a thing for Redheads? Did you watch Zero Dark Forty fifty times just to see Jessica Chastain?  Well the global warming theorists have some bad news for you, redheads could become extinct as a result of Global Warming.

The gene that causes red hair is thought to be an evolutionary response to the lack of sunlight.

Dr Alistair Moffat, boss of genetic testing company ScotlandsDNA, said:

“We think red hair in Scotland, Ireland and the north of England is adaptation to the climate. We do not get enough sun and have to get all the vitamin D we can.

However, the figure could fall dramatically – and even see redheads die out completely in a few centuries – if predictions that the country’s climate is set to become much sunnier are true.

Dr Alistair Moffat, boss of genetic testing company ScotlandsDNA, said: “We think red hair in Scotland, Ireland and the north of England is adaptation to the climate. We do not get enough sun and have to get all the vitamin D we can.

“If it was to get less cloudy and there was more sun, there would be fewer people carrying the gene.”

Another scientist, who asked not to be named because of the theoretical nature of the work, said: “I think the gene is slowly dying out. Climate change could see a decline in the number of people with red hair in Scotland.”

Not just Scotland but all over the world.  Beyond looks according to some Congressional Progressives women will become less attractive because they will become hookers (pear-shaped non red headed hookers I would imagine).

A resolution put forward by Rep. Barbara Lee, D-Calif., and a dozen other House Democrats claims that global warming could drive women to prostitution, The Hill reported Monday. According to Democrats, climate change will affect women worse than men and could force poor women into the sex trade.

“[F]ood insecure women with limited socioeconomic resources may be vulnerable to situations such as sex work, transactional sex, and early marriage that put them at risk for HIV, STIs, unplanned pregnancy, and poor reproductive health,” the resolution says.

Democrats also claim that changes in the climate will put added stress on female farmers and will hurt “marginalized” women like refugees, sexual minorities, adolescent girls, and women and girls with HIV.

Perhaps it was the High Priest of Warming Al Gore himself who made the worst threat. According to the former Vice President global warming is going to force women to go topless (and not in the good way). He predicts that warming will make people’s heads explode. On the bright side I guess that fixes the red head problem.

“The calamitous effects of global warming will soon begin making people’s heads explode,” Gore told reporters afterward. “The scientific community has yet to discover exactly how this is going to happen but make no mistake, regardless of what the deniers say, it’s going to happen unless we act.”

Wow! Headless pear-shaped women who turn tricks, those climate change folks have an active imagination.

Reading these fear stories make me very happy that I am married and off the market.  They also make me happy about the sexiest picture on this post, the one that shows there has been no Global Warming for 17 years and 10 months, which means no one has to worry about fewer attractive women in the world.