Everything would run like a clock if it weren’t for Bush.

As I reported yesterday, Big Guy was“seething” about his minions mis-mishandling of the Ebola crisis. He was so mad that he punished everyone (except his new Ebola Czar who hasn’t screwed anything up, yet) with an after hours shame and blame meeting where he made them listen for hours as he droned on and on.

“When I agreed to take this job I was told everything would run like a German clock!”

First he yelled at them for being so stupid they couldn’t even get the time right. Then he blamed Bush for leaving him a clock so broken it wasn’t even right twice a day,

and then he complained that the Republicans took the hands off the clock and were holding them hostage.

Finally, he complained about the unfair press coverage he’s been getting from places other than Fox News; like this:

October 17, 2014

1. We shouldn’t need an Ebola czar.

2. We already put somebody in charge of corralling federal bureaucracies and coordinating local responses to national emergencies. His name is Barack Obama.

3. He has a chief of staff, the nation’s chief operating officer, Denis McDonough; a homeland security adviser, Lisa Monaco; a national security adviser, Susan Rice; a director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; and a Cabinet full of secretaries.

4. That should be enough.

(snip)

14. We shouldn’t need an Ebola czar. The president needs to do his job better.

And this:

The announcement of Ron Klain as the new Ebola “czar” checks all the boxes: Harvard Law, longtime Democrat party op, veteran of the Clinton, Al Gore and John Kerry campaigns. The problem is, it checks all the wrong boxes. The Progressive myth is that we ought to have a government of experts — top men! — to handle the nation’s problems in a calm, deliberative manner. The reality is that we have a nation of unscrupulous lawyers, amoral apparatchiks and political hacks whose only area of expertise is manipulating the electoral and governmental systems and getting rich by doing so.

Ouchie! Big Guy has demanded that we get our hands on some of that precision German engineering ASAP, in order to preserve his legacy.

Because time’s a wastin’ and it’s my understanding that even Hitler’s upset about the way the Ebola thing was handled in Dallas:

Hey, I’ve got an idea! How about we go digital, like the rest of the world?

Although that would probably require the staffing of a whole new bureaucracy and a new Time Czar: 

Okay, I need an “8” over here – stat! No, make that a “7”…quick!