Why Should America Have to Pay for My Mistakes? Thoughts of a Broke, Single Parent

I tried my hardest to watch last nights State of the Union address but I could only stomach about 15 minutes of it. The little bit I did happen to catch consisted of him talking about his favorite thing-entitlements or in Obama’s terms, giving away other peoples money.

As a person who is more than qualified to be an entitle-ly, I have to honest ask the question: “Why should America have to pay for my mistakes and failures? Why should they have to pay for MY poor decisions?”

I’ve been broke pretty much my whole life. Yes, there were times when I’ve been well off but for the most part, I’ve not had money to blow. I come from a dirt poor family in the boondocks of Lake Village Arkansas. My mother had me at the ripe ole age of 16 and my biological father of course, wasn’t ready for parenthood so he bounced after a few months. At 10, we moved to Kansas City, MO and my mother got married. I will have to point out that we started living kind of well i.e. we were Hood Rich. After high school, I made the horrible decision to go to the University of Arkansas-Pine Bluff mainly because it was a HBCU (Historically Black College & University). You know. To be down with my people. Well that didn’t work out so well since their financial aid office was still stuck in 1932.

I’ve wandered around from place to place and job to job after that. At 23, I found out I was pregnant and was miserable. I never wanted kids but I obviously wasn’t very serious about that because here I was knocked up. No matter what people say, those things just don’t happen.

So here I was. Poorly educated during my K-12 years, no college degree, no real career path, unwed, and to top it off, let’s just throw a baby in the mix for the fun of it. I wasn’t exactly living the American Dream but who’s fault was that exactly?

While I do believe my upbringing, education, environment played a big role in it, ultimately, the desire to really take life seriously or jerk off lied within me. I could point fingers all day (like most of the poor in America do, let’s be honest) but YOU are the one who made those decisions. YOU are the one who chose to have unprotected sex numerous times without being married before hand and making sure you were financially sound. YOU are the one who chose to not complete college or pick a trade where you could be successful or even just OK.

OK. Enough of the soapbox.

But my question still stands. We have become such an entitlement minded nation. Yes, people do need help but what kind and how much is the question? If I want, I can go get on Section 8, get food stamps, get basic healthcare through Medicaid, get assistance with my utilities and in addition, go to food pantries all while having a job.

Say what now? Then WHAT am I paying for? My kids are going to free public schools so I’m paying for that. I’m not required to pay for their or my basic needs i.e. food, shelter, healthcare so again: Where is my money going? Where is the responsibility? Where are my consequences for my poor decision making? That’s what this is all about.

We now have a society that wants the government to be required to pay for all their necessities when, let’s be honest, all that does is free up your money for your wants. Your kids will always have a birthday party with tons of gifts. They will always have extravagant Christmas’. They will always stay geared up with the latest fashions and to whose expense? Definitely not yours because you’re not required to take care of your responsibilities so why would you?

I don’t want this to come off as some ‘poor bashing’ piece and frankly, that’s impossible because I’m poor myself. I’m just speaking from my prospective and in my opinion, I don’t want to hold a gun to America’s head because I can’t afford the lifestyle I want. I’ll be the first to admit that despite my humble beginnings, I had more than enough chances and opportunities to make it yet I decided instead to focus my time and energy on crappy boyfriends-not husbands-, hanging out and having fun because after all, isn’t that what life is all about?

So here I am. 27 i.e. knocking on 30’s door and I’m finally on my career path. Honestly, I’m glad to be finally on track but I can’t help but think back to all the opportunities, money, resources I wasted away for nothing. It sucks being 27 with only a 3 year old to show for it but I do know that my days will get better and I will be alright. One day, I’m going to be living the life that I want to be and I can guarantee you that I will still feel this same way since I see things thing way while I’m flat broke. Unfortunately, this is more than I can say about the vast majority of America’s poor. The poor mentality is something I’ve had for a loooooong time and I can’t honest believe in what I believe in and still have it. At some point, the cycle must be broken. I have a child to take care of and while it is a struggle, it’s a choice I made and I have to live with the consequences but our dear president believes the exact opposite and he’s creating more and more poor with every stroke of his pen. At some point you have to stop holding people’s hands and let them live their lives while facing the outcome of their actions. Even I can see that.

And I’m broke.