Social Justice, American Style. Coming Soon To a Town Near You.

First order of business today: Results of the first two playoffs in Round One of the Sweet Sixteen:

Bracket A: Trump kiboshed Lucky Lindsey’s chance of becoming the country’s first historic white gay president.

Bracket B: Rick Perry proved you have to do more than play bass in order to come in as second fiddle in this band.

Just follow the detour signs

Huckabee enjoyed a late-day surge as news of his criticism of Big Guy’s Built-a-Bomb-for-Iran plan circulated; alas, it was not enough to overcome Perry’s early lead.

In other news, America’s first historic gay black president continued his multi-colored magical mystery tour to promote alternate life styles in Africa (where, to be fair, there are already a few too many alternate lifestyles).

“Love your solar panels, dude.”

At each stop he brought his message to the heathens, warning them that they had to ignore their “religion or culture” if its stance on gay marriage was deemed to be inferior to that of the enlightened “State’s.” Let the record note that when white men did this sort of thing a few centuries ago it was known as “cultural imperialism.”

“Take your hand off me dude. We do not have that phenomenon here.”

Barry took time out from his African preaching tour to turn his sites on GOP candidates, calling them “ridiculous” and “sad.”

Lady M remained at home, snubbing the very African Non-Americans that her husband was trying to convert to Social Justice, American Style. She was too busy to accompany him as she must prep for the First Family’s annual August vacation on Martha’s Vineyard – a dream vacation previously known as “white privilege.”

Next round of matchups will be coming soon….