Hillary’s Email Server Chronology: “Don’t Shoot! I’m Just the Piano Player.”

Clinton has resisted relinquishing control of the server. In March, she said the server contained “personal communications from my husband and me.”

“I believe I have met all of my responsibilities, and the server will remain private,” she said then, in response to a question from a reporter about whether she would allow an independent party to examine the device. – WaPo

“So look, I had no idea my email contained any classified information.”

“I personally reviewed all of them myself and determined which ones should be turned over to the State Department. Again I repeat, NO CLASSIFIED INFORMATION! Got it?”

“So I will fight anyone who tries to get their hands on my personal server.”

“How on earth was I supposed to know whether a document would be stamped ‘Top Secret’ at some later date?”

(NOTE: Before getting National Security Clearance, a de-briefing makes it clear that YOU are responsible for knowing what is classified and if you don’t know for sure you are to assume it IS classified.)

“So imagine my surprise when the FBI found supposedly ‘Top, Top Secret’ documents among my emails!”

“No problems; I unplugged my computer.”

“Okay, okay: I’ll turn  my server over. See? Hands up, don’t shoot!”

Hey, I’m just a girl, you can’t expect me to know how all this technological equipment works. Republican War on Women!”

“So let’s not try to make a thing out of this, alright? It’s just a vast right wing conspiracy I tell you!”

“Besides: What difference at this point does it make?”