Yuge!

All hail the winners! The Donald wants to make America great again,

And The Bern, bless his little heart, wants to make it fair.

He’s the one you’ve been waiting 74 years for?

The Bern thinks our country was founded on “fairness.” No wonder he doesn’t believe in individual liberty.  So he’s fomenting a Communist revolution in order to make America fair again and apparently the best way to do that is to take stuff away from some people and give it to some other people. In his gracious acceptance speech he specified things he thinks should be free in order to make it fair. All I can say is “More Sugar!”

As for Hillary, it looks like her Sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits (h/t Charles Krauthammer) is starting to come apart at the seams.

Too much sugar?

Unfortunately there’s not one seamstress in the old band that she’s trying to get back together. So the rag-tag team is losing its fan base to the boy band who, while not hot, is at least giving away a lot of free sh*t. I predict a future shortage of special places in hell.

Cruz, not expected to do well at all in liberal, godless New Hampshire outperformed expectations by coming in a solid third ahead of the rest of the pack. Did you know his parents were mathematicians and computer programmers?

And that he was born in Canada? Where his mother and father owned a seismic-data processing firm that serviced BIG OIL drilling companies?

And what can I say about the rest of the field?

John Kasick nailed a distant second after spending 3 times what Trump did. Not bad for a $12 million investment John, but I think I’d feel safer if Trump or Cruz was in charge of the money.  Oh, and did you know his father was a mailman?

And then there was Marco. He promises to do better next time. Did you know his father was a bartender?

I’m not sure about Christie. I think he went home to have a bowl of ice cream.

Wow! That’s YUGE!