Kim Jong-Un's "Pleasure Squad"

by JASmius

I guess the Un-dictator wanted to top any The Interview sequel that Seth Rogen and James Franco and Sony could ever throw together.  Heck, maybe this WAS the Interview sequel and the NoKos stole it when they hacked Sony a year and a half ago:

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has a group of teenage girls who follow him wherever he goes to “serve his needs”, according to recent reports.

The Mirror claims the practice, which began with former leader and Kim’s father Kim Jong Il, involves a group of girls known as the “Gippeumjo,” or Pleasure Squad.

You’ll understand if I don’t post any pictures more nausea-inducing than the one above.

The girls are reportedly taken from their schools and examined by a doctor to ensure their virginity, and eventually end up in the group that follows Kim around.

The girls are not always called on for sex, but the Mirror reports that it “does occur”. Some of the girls being taken for Kim’s group are as young as thirteen. [emphases added]

Sounds down right….Mohammedan, doesn’t it?

Try to picture laying on your back, staring up at this face….

….and then try to keep your tree-bark lunch down.

Of course, I’m kidding – there’s no way Kim’s stubby little arms could hold up bulk of that mass.  You’d have to imagine look down into that face and swallowing your violently-expelled stomach contents back down to avoid barfing in that bulbous skull-front, which would probably earn you a bullet through the head a couple of seconds later.

Yeah, that was an afternoon palate-cleanser, even if it wasn’t a breath-freshener.  Let me rummage around and see if I can’t come up with something more Dramamine-esque.